Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018)
JK Rowling finally gets to share the same oxygen as the two men she has the hots for.
Tag:Johnny Depp
Murder on the Orient Express (2017)
How adorable – Kenneth Branagh directs a movie that allows him to mug and hog screen time at the expense of everyone else.
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
JK Rowling’s “I wrote the script myself!” Pokemon GO movie is… uneven. Eddie Redmayne is frightfully gorgeous, though.
The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus (2009)
More fanciful than anything else, this one benefits a lot from the hype generated by its leading actor’s death.
Secret Window (2004)
Whatever suspense that is present here is diluted by a sense of terminal boredom.
Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003)
Did anyone ask for this sequel?
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
It’s okay, but vastly overrated.
From Hell (2001)
Oh dear, this is a dark and fun – but depressing – movie. The poor hero can’t catch a break.
Blow (2001)
I never knew being a drug dealer can be so tedious and boring.
Chocolat (2000)
Trite and predictable, this one is more of a cheap deal than gourmet.
