Rebel Moon – Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)
A slow-motion snoozefest that makes you wish for the sweet release of a Death Star blast.
Tag:Derek Mears
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)
It’s better than Van Helsing, for what that’s worth!
Alita: Battle Angel (2019)
This is an exhilarating kind of mediocrity, with all the thrills that one will live for during the moment and eventually forget.
John Carpenter’s Pro-Life (2006)
Don’t dis abortion, you conservative poo-bugs, because you never know when you need to get rid of the demon baby growing inside you.
Hatchet III (2013)
It makes fun of the previous movie and goes all out dumb. Credit given for effort, I guess.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
This movie is a reboot, completely ruined by that brain damaged bimbo who is responsible for every single mess in this movie.
Friday the 13th (2009)
Poor Jason. All he wants to do is to cleanse the world of idiot teens, and he can never fully succeed.
Cursed (2005)
This one is alright. Could use more gore and less TV people.
