Main cast: Curtis Lum (Ryan Lee), Tom Atkins (Frank Cochran), Kristy Dawn Dinsmore (Allison Cochran), Bernie Yao (Daryl), Anja Savcic (Angela), Tina Grant (Sonia Wicks), Tyler McClendon (Roger Barton), David Lennon (Calvin), Kenny Wood-Schatz (The Bartender), Kevin Amestoy (The Cartoonist), and Alaska Leigh (Roger’s Secretary)
Directors: John Esposito and PJ Pesce
Alison and Ryan are getting married! Isn’t that lovely?
Well, Frank, Alison’s estranged father, probably thinks so. Now that he’s dying, he’d like some closure between her and him by inviting the happy couple to a Sunday brunch.
Ryan is surprised that Frank isn’t dead like his fiancée said, and ooh, Frank turns out to be a rich man too!
Against Allison’s better judgment, they accept the invitation, only to learn that Frank wishes to pay for the wedding as long as they have it at the family home at a date he has picked. She is not interested and flounces off to the car when Frank insults their collective poverty.
Alone with his future son-in-law, Frank invites Ryan to follow him inside. He has something to show the younger man, and no, this is not the beginning of some perverted tale. What does the older man has that is such a secret, hmm?
Something Burrowed, Something Blue is going so well at first. Tom Atkins makes for an excellent smarmy asshole that is at the same time charismatic as can be, and the other two… well, they try to keep up. There is some lovely monster in a pit angle here, and some complicated moral dilemma for the main characters to grapple with.
Then, comes another twist, then another, until the whole thing becomes way too ridiculous for its own good. I go from enjoying this segment to rolling my eyes up every few minutes, ugh.
What’s the Creepshow credo again? Ah yes: one step forward, two steps back.
In Doodles, Angela is hoping to land a job as a cartoonist at the magazine Timeless.
Wait, there’s print magazine still? The publisher still operates out of a huge fancy building like it’s the 1980s all over again, and Angela acts like her job would help her become rich. When is this segment set in again? Not the present day, that’s for sure!
At any rate, Angela discovers that she has indeed a special talent: when she doodles a giant rat about to take a bite out of Sonia Wicks, a cartoonist that stole her idea and got the job she wanted, Sonia ends up dead—her eyes and various parts of her body devoured by rats. The wounds on the corpse are exactly like the wounds made by Angela on Sonia’s photo!
Don’t get too excited, people, as that death happens off-screen, bummer. I guess the people here either don’t have the budget or they don’t want to be cancelled by PETA or something. However, there is a death scene later is that even more awesome, so there’s still a reason for gore hounds to watch this segment!
Sadly, some people are just too stupid to properly use their awesome powers, as Angela will proceed to demonstrate.
This is a pretty entertaining Tales from the Crypt-like segment with just the right pace and violence to keep things fun. However, this is where modern-day horror cynicism creeps in and ruins things again: Angela is never mean or nasty enough to truly warrant her fate.
So far, this season is easily the best one to date, but it is also a season that is written by apparently folks with brutish bully tendencies that believe the audience will revel along with them in having the weird, the lost, and the defeated get beaten and murdered because, LOL, horror, amirite? Sadly, this segment is no different.
