Main cast: Rosario Dawson (Ahsoka Tano), Natasha Liu Bordizzo (Sabine Wren), Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Hera Syndulla), Ray Stevenson (Baylan Skoll), Ivanna Sakhno (Shin Hati), Diana Lee Inosanto (Morgan Elsbeth), David Tennant (Huyang), Lars Mikkelsen (Grand Admiral Thrawn), Genevieve O’Reilly (Chancellor Mon Mothma), Eman Esfandi (Ezra Bridger), Anthony Daniels (C-3PO), and Hayden Christensen (Anakin Skywalker)
Director: Geeta Vasant Patel
Watching Part Seven: Dreams and Madness drives me to a painful epiphany: Star Wars debuted in 1977. It is now 2023.
Yet, “excitement” in these Star Wars movies and shows still boils down to the good guys being pursued by a battalion of huge and deadly enemy space ships raining lasers at them… which may be suspenseful if we all didn’t know by know that these bad guys can’t aim for dear life.
Sure, I was much younger and more easily entertained back then, but come on. It’s nearly 50 years since the first movie came out. Can we please have enemies that are more capable? It’s not dramatic or suspenseful anymore, people, when the enemies are clearly incompetent in everything. The whole thing instead is lazy and dumb.
Alas, no one seems to have alerted screenwriter and showrunner Dave Filoni that.
Oh god, and I know it is coming, but it is still excruciating to be proven right, as Thrawn is one of my favorite villains in the Star Wars EU: they have made him into a colossal idiot.
This episode opens with Hera Syndulla demonstrating what an idiot she is and a failure as a politician when she fails to do anything to convince the imbeciles of the New Republic that Thrawn is out there plotting mean things. Luckily, C-3PO shows up—because Carrie Fisher is dead is and they probably didn’t have the budget anymore after so many flops to CGI the actor into making a posthumous appearance as Leia—to give Hera a reprieve.
Then Ahsoka and Kathleen Wren and…
Sigh. Just the thought of having to talk about them makes me feel so deflated. They are so boring.
I still don’t get what the big deal Ezra is that Kathleen Wren went through all the trouble to find him. He just is sort of there, and if he had been a big deal in those cartoons in the past, I’m not seeing that here. In fact, I see an idiot.
Kathleen Wren and him spend most of the episode strolling like they have walked into the set of Willow or something, even when there’s a battle raging just nearby. I may wonder more about this if I hadn’t already been desensitized by all the stupidity in this and the last few episodes.
Ahsoka once again flies out of a plane and it’s still as stupid it was the last time she did that. Also, what’s with all her constant posing with her arms straight out like she’s trying to fly? I’m sure Mr Filoni will give his fave waifu that ability soon anyway, so there’s no need to keep striking that pose all the time.
Anyway, let’s just talk about Thrawn… okay, maybe not. Do I have to? I suppose I should, or else there is nothing in this review, just like how there is nothing of note in the episode.
He’s such a moron, oh my god. He keeps wasting his resources chasing after trivial things and acting like he’s such a genius. I wonder if this is just Mr Filoni channeling his inner self onto that character, because at this point I’m starting to believe that the cowboy hat he keeps wearing is actually an alien parasite quickly eating his brain cells, hence him coming up with this show.
Star Wars may not be fully dead yet, but watching this show is like witnessing Lucasfilm grossly violating the comatose dying form of an old lady and screaming inside my head to just let that poor old lady die. The only way I manage to sit through this ordeal without involuntarily defecating and vomiting all the same time is the realization that there is only one episode left to go. Just one more!
If there is any justice in this world, please let Lucasfilm go bankrupt so that they will stop inflicting such torture on innocent souls whose only crime is to love, or have once loved, Star Wars.
