Main cast: Rosario Dawson (Ahsoka Tano), Natasha Liu Bordizzo (Sabine Wren), Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Hera Syndulla), Ray Stevenson (Baylan Skoll), Ivanna Sakhno (Shin Hati), Diana Lee Inosanto (Morgan Elsbeth), David Tennant (Huyang), Lars Mikkelsen (Grand Admiral Thrawn), Eman Esfandi (Ezra Bridger), and Hayden Christensen (Anakin Skywalker)
Director: Rick Famuyiwa
The review of Part Eight: The Jedi, the Witch, and the Warlord is late because for a long time, I just don’t know what to write in the review.
My brain protests at the idea of even doing it, because what I have witnessed, people, defies description. Sure, maybe if I were to be kind I may call it “underwhelming”, or maybe I can use the word “travesty”, but I don’t know.
Watching this thing is like staring into the void only to see Jar-Jar Binks leering at me from the unfathomable darkness.
Is this supposed to be the best that Dave Filoni can offer? Oh just burn the whole Star Wars franchise down already, if this guy were supposed to be the savior of the Disney Star Wars!
I don’t know what to say about the plot aside from the good guys, sorry, girlbosses win on easy mode.
Poor Thrawn, in this show, he’s reduced to an overgrown Smurf constantly sending spaceships after spaceships at Ahsoka and whatever, only to see them blow up and mutter some nonsense about acceptable losses. This guy is supposed to be an evil genius feared by many, mind you, and here, he’s just a whipped mutt that ends up fleeing like a wuss. How embarrassing.
The bad guys basically hand the girlbosses the win because they are their usual can’t aim, just stand there when they can shoot morons, but take a rusty pike and just shove it up Mr Filoni’s bum egg tart, because he could at least try to inject some suspense. No, the girlbosses just barrel down the idiot tin cans without a scratch.
I suppose that they can even teleport now because Kathleen Wren can be in one location and then pop up in a completely different location in the next scene.
Speaking of her, Ahsoka tells Kathleen that what that smug and insufferable hag did—putting the universe in jeopardy just to be with Ezra—is understandable and even acceptable now. Why? Girlbosses can’t do wrong, of course, and they can do anything they want. If you disagree, you are a bigot!
Oh, and remember how Kathleen whined about how training was so-ooo-ooo hard? She gets her Force powers now in a convenient moment, and yes, who needs training when she can immediately wield her powers like she’d been doing it like a pro for a long, long time?
That’s the present day Hollywood girlboss arc: whine and mope, magically get superpowers, and then act even more like an obnoxious and smug bitch, yay the end. Does anyone even like this kind of lazily-written, sloppy, and unlikable creature?
The most interesting character, Baylan Skoll, stands on some statue. Whatever. Ray Stevenson has passed on, so this character is going nowhere, sadly.
Meanwhile, speaking of uninteresting characters, I still have no idea what the big deal this Ezra Bridger is. I know, I know, I should have watched all those seasons of Mr Filoni’s fanfiction cartoon like a good Star Wars drone, but seriously now, Mr Filoni doesn’t come off as very smart if he believed people would come into this show already well-versed with those cartoons.
As for the titular character, she has no character arc, no character growth, nothing. She’s just a raccoon in a mumu doing a T-pose and putting on that pensive expression like Rosario Dawson is trying very hard to decide whether she should fire her agent. This show is another bait-and-switch from Disney: they say it’s a show about Ahsoka, but it’s actually about Kathleen Wren acting like yet another stereotypical girlboss that stinks up present-day Hollywood crap.
This episode suggests that there will be a second season because yay, everyone loves Ahsoka and Dave Filoni is the savior of Star Wars, snort. This show, Disney, Lucasfilm—they can all go hang.
