Jive
Pop, 2000

A male friend explains the allure of Britney Spears rather well: “Britney is a tart playing at being a virginal underage girl. Christina Aguilera is an underage girl trying to be a tart. Therefore, Britney wins pants, er, hands down with the male population.”

She comes close to spinning a convincing Lolita fantasy here with the title track, although the crashing kiddie-pop backing music ruins the mood. Everything else about this album is purely routine productions from that Swedish capitalist mass-manufacturer Max Martin and company, who must be responsible for homogenizing the teen music market into one bland, indistinguishable mass. On Oops!… I Did It Again, they didn’t even bother to give Britney Spears some identity that can distinguish her sound from their other cash cows such as Backstreet Boys and NSYNC.

It’s also embarrassingly clear on ballads that this young lady can’t sing a proper tune. Lucky is insipid, with the worst lines I’ve encountered in a while. Uptempo pops like What U See (Is What U Get) is prophetic an anthem – apart from the scantily dressed young lady trying hard to seduce people into giving her producers, managers, and recording studio money, there’s little else. (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction indeed.