Main cast: Lisa Blount (Miranda), John Cavell (Sean), and Page Fletcher (The Hitchhiker)
Director: Brian Grant

Just like how smutty works often kill off the sex-hungry characters present in order to inject some “Yes, you get off on this, but the reasons you get off are now dead, so there’s no need to feel guilty over doing so!” nonsense, the final episode of the third season of The Hitchhiker warns women that the price of being fame is high. Coming from this show, that’s rich. Is the show trying to become a comedy now?

Before Roxette, there’s Miranda and Sean. Oh wait, those two are never happening, because, when they finally score an audience with a producer Robbie after two years of trying to get noticed, Sean is dismayed that the fellow is only interested in their song, One Last Prayer, and the song is going to to a sexier, more marketable artist Kim Lavelle.

Sean has intended the song to be performed by his beloved Miranda, so he ready to give the producer a middle finger. Miranda, however, has always wanted the limelight, so she’s going to be what these people want: a sexy, marketable 1980s Madonna knock-off artist. Naturally, this leads to the same old dilemma of whether she should stay true to her artistry or sell out for fame and money. I’m not sure why this is even a dilemma. Fame and money, of course—what’s wrong with wanting these?

This is the main problem with this episode. It tries to sell me that somehow what Miranda and Sean were doing previously was some kind of art, but what I hear is banal pop pap. Selling out and dancing in leather bras and short skirts, therefore, is just right way to go to market such music, so I don’t see the issue here.

It’s not even that Miranda is some kind of great vocalist either, like the show tries to tell me, as the scenes of her performing just drive home what weak and forgettable vocals she has.

Banal pop song, abysmal singer—if anything, these two should be selling out with glee, as that’s the only way their “art” can make them money.

This episode also has the singularly worst acting I’ve seen from the cast members. I’m talking about “reading lines like a robot” levels of bad acting here—this episode would fit right in with Ghost Stories because the plot and the acting are bottom barrel tier just like the episodes of that other show.

Because of the crap acting, the denouement is unintentionally hilarious, but not in a fun and camp way. Plus, it once again tries to drive home that a woman determined to be famous and rich is somehow a bad thing… why?

The third season of this show has its moments, and I think it’s the best season so far despite its mishaps here and there, but yikes, this is likely the biggest misstep of all. There’s saving the best for last, but this show definitely makes a strong case of shoveling the worst for last.