Bantam, $4.99, ISBN 0-553-56965-1
Contemporary Romance, 1994 (Reissue)

I have no idea what to expect when I pick up this slim reissue of a 1983 Loveswept one really boring day. The back cover doesn’t help, as it describes something like a man chasing a buxom, giggling woman, hoping to rip her clothes off. Not exactly an edifying image, if you ask me.

Well, I can safely say now that On Wings of Magic is about a very rich, perfect man wooing a very rich, perfect woman in a tropical paradise even the most unspoiled virgin resorts would be hard-pressed to match. This novel takes place in a world where the beautiful and very wealthy reign and enjoy life in one blissful bubble.

Isn’t that disgusting? But this one, even if it doesn’t have any plot or focus, is also very readable.

Hawke Madison is a former soldier/He-Man type who is now retired from shooting Third World people. He now runs a very fabulous – and expensive, I guess – tropical resort in some lush, isolated corner of the world.

Then one day comes Kendall James. She’s gorgeous, tanned all over, and she gets away with wearing low-cut, revealing dresses that the average woman wouldn’t want to be caught wearing before a Bust the Cellulite makeover. Oh, and she is also sharp as a pin despite her Pamela Anderson exterior, and not only that, her job is to follow her ambassador daddy round the world. Her hobby is saving Third World kiddies from their poverty.

THAT IS SO DISGUSTING! I want those thighs.

And the plot is this: he asks her for dinner. She wears something with no back. He chases her round the pool. She saves a drowning boy. Flashback to her Florence Nightingale act in some war-torn country. Then he woos her by giving her EXPENSIVE, PRICELESS GEM TOYS every freaking day for a week! They and Kendall’s almost indecent cutoff shorts live happily ever after in this tropical paradise. Daddy James joins in the holiday too.

That is so bloody disgusting, I can just puke green slime.

On Wings of Magic is like a nice vacation to some exotic resort. And like all good vacations, the effect is dual. One, it is sure nice to see and feel all those sun and beautiful people. No trouble, just sun and fun. Bliss, eh? Then again, gosh, these people are so beautiful your three-month-diet and non-stop aerobicized body looks just obese in comparison. And is that cellulite? Am I growing a mustache? I WANT THOSE GEM TOYS! And the ability to wear those cutoff jeans – can I have her thighs?

Read with open mind and zero stress in your life. I didn’t, and look what happened to me. I’m now a green-eyed, insecure, slobbering mess. Ally McBeal, I’m so sorry – all is forgiven! Join me for a pity party?

But this book is very readable, even if it has no plot, no story, nadda.