Main cast: Ashton Kutcher (Tom Stansfield), Tara Reid (Lisa Taylor), Jeffrey Tambor (Ken), Terence Stamp (Jack Taylor), Andy Richter (Red Taylor), Michael Madsen (TJ), Jon Abrahams (Paul), David Koechner (Speed), Carmen Electra (Tina), and Molly Shannon (Audrey Bennett)
Director: David Zucker

If you think Jennifer Lopez is overexposed for no good reason, you obviously haven’t met Ashton Kutcher. Shouting his way through Punk’d, shouting his way as the most obnoxious character in That 70’s Show, and now, making a drag-queen resembling gargoyle out of himself in the totally humor-free My Boss’s Daughter.

Mr Kutcher plays Tom Stansfield, a nice guy that doesn’t get promoted or even acknowledged by his boss Jack because he’s the nice guy, much to the dismay of his friends. Tom has a crush on Lisa – and she turns out to be his boss’s daughter. Whoa, one would have to trot gently there on that hot wire. But when Tom decides to housesit Jack Taylor’s house just so that he can spend some illicit time with Lisa, what can go wrong does and then some more. Haw haw haw, snort.

Nothing about this movie is funny, and the sight of Terence Stamp’s pasty white buttocks almost had me gouging my eyes out in horror. But watching almost two hours of Tara Reid acting like a deer petrified in marble in that pose just before the bus runs it down, Ashton Kutcher blinking and pouting and generally acting like a frozen meat being lugged around, and lots of juvenile humor (grabbing women’s breasts, breaking things, creating a mess) all make this movie one only really indiscriminate thirteen-year old boys can enjoy.

If there is a movie that should be re-titled “Please Rip Open My Skull and Eat My Brain and Spare Me from More Misery”, the dead brain cell ooze that is The Boss’s Daughter is begging for the honors.