Main cast: Allison Williams (Gemma), Violet McGraw (Cady), Ronny Chieng (David), Brian Jordan Alvarez (Cole), Jen Van Epps (Tess), Lori Dungey (Celia), and Stephane Garneau-Monten (Kurt)
Director: Gerard Johnstone
M3GAN is one in a long, proud lineage of horror flicks that are somehow marketed like they just reinvented fire, the wheel, and The Exorcist all in one go—because if James Wan and Jason Blum so much as sneeze on a film, critics start wetting themselves and X loses its collective mind.
Sure, everyone calls it “fresh” and “terrifying”… but only if their horror experience begins and ends with Stranger Things and Scream. Let’s be real: if you’ve watched more than three horror films in your life, you’ll clock M3GAN as the cinematic equivalent of microwaving leftover tropes and hoping the AI doesn’t overcook the plot.
The premise? A tech bro in a sensible bob cut — okay, fine, Gemma — builds an AI doll in the company’s basement like she’s Tony Stark on Adderall. The doll, M3GAN, makes Siri look like a Speak & Spell and gives her grieving niece Cady the emotional support equivalent of ChatGPT with a meat cleaver.
Cue Cady forming a trauma bond with the doll faster while the therapists and teachers try to intervene because AI is bad, humans are good, etc.
The doll then predictably goes full HAL 9000 on everyone within stabbing distance — obnoxious neighbors, anyone who stands between her and Cady’s uninterrupted screen time — and it’s less horror and more a TED Talk on what happens when Alexa finally gets sick of your crap.
Eventually, Gemma decides that maybe letting a robot co-parent her niece was a bad move (you think?), and the finale ends with the world’s most predictable “child vs robot” smackdown. Spoiler alert: the child wins. The doll dies. Everyone learns something, probably.
Now don’t get me wrong: the production is slick, the acting’s decent, and the killer doll does a TikTok-worthy dance before going full Terminator. I won’t lie; it’s fun. But let’s not pretend this is anything more than a glossy rehash of Child’s Play meets Black Mirror with a hint of The Parent Trap if one twin was a sociopathic Roomba.
Final verdict: M3GAN is a perfectly average horror flick dressed up in Wi-Fi and synthetic hair. It’s not groundbreaking—it’s ground-recycled. If this is what passes for innovation in horror these days, I, for one, welcome our robot overlords. At least they might come up with a new script.
