Delilah Devlin, $0.99, ISBN 978-1513058122
Contemporary Romance, 2015

Delilah Devlin’s Love in Bloom is a hot contemporary romance between Dustin Fremont, hot stud, and Amanda Blakeley, a… uh…

An arm filled with red and pink blooms, Amanda Blakely tugged down the hem of her pink uniform shirt, drew in a deep breath for courage and rang the doorbell.

Oh, so she’s an arm. Wait, how does that work, exactly?

Arm-anda knocks on the door of her high school crush with all those flowers.

Oh, don’t worry, she’s not so forward as to proposition a man with flowers to get laid, that’s just not becoming of a romance heroine. No, she’s delivering his flowers, purchased and sent by some Simone.

Our heroine then demonstrates what a charming conversationalist she is.

“She seemed especially eager to get them to you today,” Mandy blurted, then turned crimson. She sounded accusatory. Like it was any of her business why a girlfriend of his would send him flowers as a morning-after thank you.

“It’s not what you’re thinking, I’m sure,” he said, his tone wry. Then his eyes narrowed on her face again. “Do I know you?”

Rather than answer the question because she’d already embarrassed herself enough, she blurted again. “I was thinking you must be really good.” Good lord, had she really just said that?

“I’m not—” He shook his head. A bark of laughter shook his chest. “Guess I can’t deny it too much or you’ll think I’m gay or sexless.”

Sigh, can we just skip to the sex? Like, right away?

Anyway, he is so charmed by her cute way with words that he has to search for her again, they then have sex, and our heroine is finally validated as a worthy person because she was once a geek with ugly glasses and now she’s a hot babe that gets stuffed by the salami she has wanted all her life.

Not a bad week for a walking, talking, sentient arm, I suppose.

Okay, so this story is totally fluffy and short, but it doesn’t annoy me or make me writhe in pain, so I guess it’s alright, even if I likely won’t recall anything about it like right about now.

Well, aside from the fact that the heroine is an arm that can somehow also have sex. I suppose there is some novelty value in such a premise?