Nightshade Collections, $0.99
Contemporary Romance, 2016
Okay, so you hate your job, your supervisor (she’s such a cunt, as our heroine puts it), and basically everything related to your workplace. What’s the best revenge you can have in this situation? Sleep with the boss, of course, and through that conquest, proceed to make everything your bitch. Wait, that’s a different, more interesting story than Like a Boss, by Quinn. I wonder why the author doesn’t go for gold by calling herself The Queen instead.
Like many heroines puked up as the author labors under the belief that these heroines are “smart-mouthed” and “sassy”, Talia Newman has a lousy attitude, makes no pretense that she hates her supervisor, gives the bird to other people, and ends up late for meetings and such because she’s so feisty that way. Naturally, everything that goes wrong and everyone that dislikes her clearly is just the universe working against her – it’s never her fault, of course.
Fortunately, her boss Theodore Solomon is packing a big rocket-sized missile in his pants, which is a good thing here as he’s also rich and hot, and she clearly needs to put out in order to stay gainfully employed in a non-prostitute way.
Struggling not to fiddle with my skirt or my hair, I wait for the shitstorm that’s about to rain down on me. Mr. Solomon closes the door behind Lyra, then takes a seat at the head of the rectangular table. The chair groans underneath his weight. Its wide back barely matches the broadness of his shoulders. He unbuttons his suit jacket, and the panels slide back, exposing a crisp white shirt and a plain, dark blue, skinny tie. His impeccable manner, the way he carries himself—relaxed, yet powerful and authoritative—and the fact that he wears what could be a real diamond tiepin should impress me, but something else catches my attention.
Underneath those sleek navy trousers is one hell of an impressive boner.
What’s more shocking though is that he doesn’t seem to be hiding it. Mr. Solomon is proud of not-so-little Solomon straining at his zipper. I catch a moan between my teeth, and tamp down any notion that his hard-on is for me. After all, he and Ingrid were all over each other just moments ago.
Here’s the thing. I grit my teeth each time Talia is doing her best impersonation of an irresponsible cow who hates everything and anything, and the only way this story can work for me is the author pads it with so many sex scenes that Talia is distracted from her usual “I’m sarcastic! Annoying! Too cool to stop being a self-absorbed twat!” antics. But I keep turning the pages – chapters one, two, three… damn it, where is the procession of Billionaire Boss Peens to shut this heroine up?
On one hand, the author seems to be aware that Talia is an immature donkey turd, but I fear that she thinks that this resemblance of her heroine to runny diarrhea-stricken donkey turd is supposed to endearing, as Talia just won’t stop. That wretch even threatens to sue for sexual harrassment as some kind of childish retaliation on her boss, which only makes her even less appealing to me. And this wretch wants me to pity her because she was called fat and ugly in the past? Well, I have news for her: regardless of her physical appearance, she’s a whale-sized turd because of her antics here.
Finally, the licking and sucking begin at Chapter Seven, but by that point, I have no idea what Theo sees in Talia, as all she does is to act like a bratty kid on speed. Then again, I have to admit: the author does have a way with the naughty moments. She goes down and straight and deep into all the points and spots in a manner that is both raunchy and hot. Alas, these two can’t just die after having sex, they have to go back to talking and being annoying again, so… ugh.
Like a Boss would indeed be the boss if the author had just crammed this one with sex scenes from start to finish. This is one story which I could safely say that I would have enjoyed so much more if the heroine had been replaced by one of those artificial vagina-like sex toys for the hero to play with.
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