Main cast: Kyra Zagorsky (Sarah), Graham Verchere (Martin), Megan Charpentier (Dawn), Sebastian Kroon (George Romero), Peter New (Mr Cooper), Anthony Moyer (Bub), Danny Hospes (Zombie), Roberto Alejandro Sandoval Santana (Zombie), Rochelle Greenwood (Miranda), Alison Thornton (Shelby), Micaela Nyland (Kaitlyn), and Maya Ford (The Nurse)
Directors: Greg Nicotero and John Harrison
There are always two constants in Creepshow, because how else will the people behind this show demonstrate their street cred to the audience over and over: homage to Stephen King and tributes to George A Romero.
Let’s pretend to overlook that these two names are synonymous with fair-weather normies that pretend to be part of the geek culture, kind of like all those people claiming to be superhero fans when the MCU was hot, just because they can name the characters of those movies while not caring one bit about anything outside of the movies. After all, it’s not nice to be cynical all the time!
Anyway, we get the obligatory Romero Numero Uno tribute segment of the season in George Romero in 3D.
Sarah owns a physical bookstore, Booktime. She’s proud of the fact that it is a brick-and-mortar store, and she refuses to take online orders. Is anyone shocked that she’s about to be evicted from her store next month?
Mr Cooper, the landlord, wants to double the rent, you see, and instead of moving, Sarah does what every broke bookstore owner does: insists that he can’t do that and how dare he. Then, she decides that she will get a new computer and has her son become her unpaid slave to set up an online presence. If she thinks she can be the new Amazon in just one month, I don’t know what to say to her.
Fortunately, they discover what seems to be George Romero’s unpublished comics, which look very published to me, so maybe hope has arrived… until the 3D glasses that come with them let… zombies show up?
Once again, garbled mixed messages are everywhere. Landlords are evil to evict tenants that run their businesses badly and couldn’t pay rent as a result! It’s a happy ending anyway when it’s just the start of a zombie apocalypse!
Worse, all the characters are annoying as hell, and I’m just glad to see this ridiculous segment end. It’s one thing to want to create yet another homage to Mr Romero, but this one is just a wet flatulence in my face.
As for Baby Teeth, alas, poor Shelby. Her mother Miranda has serious abandonment issues, and she’s coping by being a very suffocating parent to Shelby.
Worse, she speaks to and treats Shelby like the young lady is a slow-witted child. No, even worst, she makes her daughter live within a rigid regime made up of what seems like superstitions: iron sewn into her clothes, an iron pendant around her neck at all times, and Shelby’s baby teeth and locks of hair all collected and kept as mementos in her former nursery.
Is Miranda cray cray? Of course, with this being a horror show, Shelby will soon discover that there may just be a very good reason for her mother’s increasing paranoia about something being out to get them all…
This segment saves this episode. Really. It is genuinely awesome, with awesome effects. Sure, the monster may not look scary, but the damage it does is spectacularly gory.
It also has some solid build-up as there are clues scattered around the episode that hint at the coming carnage. Okay, I guess what will happen pretty early, what with all the clues with iron and the whole family being Irish and all, but the segment still manages to deliver an episode that satisfies both the horror fan and gore hound in me. It almost makes me forget the dire segment that comes before it!
So yes, thus concludes the latest season of Creepshow.
I’ve said it before, and I haven’t changed my mind: this is easily the best season of the show so far, with far better stories, improved pacing, and solid effects. Now, if only it would ditch the tedious “subvert expectations at all costs” pretensions of present-day horror and go back to plain no-nonsense storytelling for the next season!
