Main cast: Meghan Markle, Prince Harry, Kehinde Andrews, Afua Hirsch, David Olusoga, Doria Ragland, Silver Tree, and Clare Waight Keller
Director: Liz Garbus

Here we go again. Episode #1.4 begins with Harry and Meghan finally being married. Will I get any insight in how married life has changed their outlook in life, how their hopes for the future have evolved, or something that doesn’t revolve around bitter complaining and whining?

I suppose these two won’t be what they are if they did any of the above.

So, their intention in making this show, aside from getting an advance from Netflix that really should know better, seems to be clear in this episode, because they want an apology from the Royal Family for… you know, vague stuff about racism and something, something -ism.

As I’ve said in a past review, I am not saying that they are lying, but my god, the way this documentary has been constructed so far. It contradicts itself at every turn, and it doesn’t even hide its transparent intention of being a masturbatory vanity TV show to satiate Meghan’s ego. She can’t come off as sincere to save her life, while Harry’s appearance only serves to validate the perception that this fellow has sub-optimal intelligence.

So, once again for the zillionth time, Saint Meghan of the Markle talks about how her presence in the racist Royal Family caused them to go all out on bullying and ostracizing her. However, she says that she didn’t let them push her over, which only threatened their sense of superiority, wah wah wah.

Stupidly, this episode at the same time shows those headlines from the UK media that showed how she already had plans to be “unconventional” and basically march up to the Royal Family and tell them to kiss her ass or else. Therefore, even as she is babbling in her fake cutesy voice, the episode is working to deflate her own narrative and, instead, show me what a bell end she is to think that she can expect the Royal Family to immediately bend over and cater to her whims.

She doubles down on how she doesn’t fit in with them because she’s American and hence can’t be expected to know the protocols and decorum. Really? She was too busy with her acting non-career and equally non-existent philanthropy efforts back then to do a basic search once she manipulated Harry into marrying her decided to marry Harry?

Not to mention, it’s well known that everyone marrying into the Royal Family receives training in deportment, decorum, et cetera, so Meghan must be stupid indeed to think anyone will buy her story just like that. She has even admitted to having received training and even praised the person that did this training in the past!

This is a big problem with their narrative. It tells me that she’s either even dumber than Harry or she’s lying through her teeth, and either option doesn’t do her any favors at all.

Anyway, to prove that this episode isn’t scripted, directed, and edited by Meghan, there are potted plants new and old, mostly old that recorded all their reality TV-style confessions in a single sitting, that show up to keep singing her praises.

Oh, Harry is in this episode. He says that Meghan is so awesome, she’s like his mother, and his father helped a lot to put their marriage together, even getting a gospel choir and all when these spoiled brats want it. The last is apparently racism because they also whine in the same episode about how the Royal Family was mean and spiteful.

These two also complain about how tiny that place they were given to stay in, Nottingham Cottage, and this is apparently… another sign of oppression? Meghan whines that Buckingham Palace was so much bigger, and…

I looked up pics of that huge place and I can only cringe at how these two don’t seem to realize how utterly spoiled they are in complaining about that place. I also discovered, in the process, that William and Kate resided there until they moved to Buckingham Palace later on, and Harry used that place as his bachelor pad in the past. I guess Harry had no issues with the place until his wife threw a tantrum?

The rest of the episode is all about how they are the superstars of the Royal Family, which cause the others feel jealous. Meghan claims that she was pregnant when she had to do her royal rounds, because flying around, spending an hour or two waving her hand or sitting for photos—she was clearly the most oppressed pregnant woman in the world, surely.

Harry chimes in now and then that Meghan’s problems parallel his mother’s. Seek therapy, honey.

He also starts a new narrative that actually counters the one set by him and Meghan earlier: somehow, the Royal Family wasn’t so bad, it was the media that distorted everything!

This is so confusing, because it’s like these two are just trying to turn everyone into a villain because they don’t understand how they aren’t immediately loved and fawned over. Somehow it’s the fault of this person or that party depending on some complex calculation involving Meghan’s moods, Harry’s temporary spike of brainpower, the day of the week, how much alcohol they have imbibed that day, and who knows what else.

These two are dumb anyway. If they wanted to demonize the media, then perhaps they shouldn’t show so many media headlines that fawn over Meghan, and show more that called her all kinds of names. That would have made sense, but then, if the people behind the show did that, maybe Saint Meghan of the Markle would screech that she hadn’t been put on a pedestal enough and had them fired.

Anyway, four episodes in and all I get are the same old circular complaints about the in-laws and evil media people, as well as the repetitive raising of the Markle Saint onto a pedestal. Something tells me the next two episodes will have the same things too.