Main cast: Jan Neal Holden (Seamus), Sigurd Aae Klausen (Konrad), and Martine Sienna Johansen (Mila)
Director: Kjell Hammerø

Well, well, once again the world experiences a zombie apocalypse, this time it’s with a Norwegian low budget twist.

Seamus is on the run from the zombies when he is relieved to stumble upon an underground bunker. Ah, salvation is at… oh, wait. He finds that the bunker is already inhabited by the super mean and likely psychotic Konrad, who introduces Seamus to his wife Mila, who is in a coma. That doesn’t stop Seamus from having his way with the unconscious woman, of course, much to Seamus’s disgust.

Naturally, the bunker soon becomes too small for the two of them, especially when one of them is a cray cray POS.

Entombed is marketed as horror, but it’s actually more of a “down in the hole” thriller with two men coexisting very uneasily in an underground bunker during a zombie apocalypse.

This film having a minuscule budget means that the movie takes place in pretty much a single location, with some obviously cheap lighting and some rather static camera shots more at home in an art school student’s project.

The lack of moolah also likely explains the lack of zombie horror. When they do appear, the zombies are clearly extras, probably family members and friends, in just enough make-up to make them look somewhat undead-looking. These zombies look remarkably clean, agile, and well-dressed, however, and they even move like human beings. Imagine that.

That’s not to say that this thing is inherently bad because of the lack of money, of course. I’m just pointing all these things out to defray expectations of people that expect this to be something more… polished.

However, what is the issue here is the whole ” down in the hole” thing not done in a way that is strong enough to keep the momentum going throughout the duration of the film. The back and forth between Seamus and Konrad become repetitive and boring after a while, making me feel that this movie would likely be better had its runtime been shaved by, say, half.

What is really the issue here though is something that will be considered a huge spoiler, so avert your eyes and press the back button now if you don’t wish to be spoiled.

You still here?

Okay, Mila is just faking the whole coma thing. Well, that’s fine, were not for the fact that she somehow managed not to sneeze, experience hunger or thirst, feel the urge to go to the toilet, make any sound or movement during her frequent rape by Konrad, and who knows what else. How is this possible? How?

Also, these characters, especially Seamus, are morons. My favorites are these two not arming themselves when they run out of the bunker into zombie utopia, and Seamus not killing Konrad when Mila tells him to—with predictable consequences.

The first one is the pin into the eye, really, because that’s the conclusion of the movie. This means that the two will likely die anyway, given their lamentable brainpower, thus making this whole thing a waste of time to watch in the first place.

Let’s just bury this thing. Not every independent movie needs to watched and lauded for having the audacity to exist on a shoestring budget, after all!