Main cast: Matt Lanter (Will), Vanessa Minnillo (Amy), Gary “G Thang” Johnson (Calvin), Crista Flanagan (Juney/Hannah Montana), Nicole Parker (Enchanted Princess/Amy Winehouse/Jessica Simpson), and Kim Kardashian (Lisa Taylor)
Directors: Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer
I would have never voluntarily watched Disaster Movie under any normal circumstance, but when this somehow came up on cable TV, I couldn’t turn away from the ensuing train wreck. This is a so-called parody of all kinds of disaster and superhero movies, but a parody needs to be funny. This one is just a series of weird random “appearances” of pop culture characters and jokes that miss the mark tossed together in a haphazard manner.
The “plot”, if we can call it that, is Will and Amy breaking up due to his inability to commit, just as the meteors and tornados strike. Will knows from his dreams – don’t ask – that it’s the end of the world, and what do you know, it turns out that he may just be the guy to save the world.
The directors also wrote the script, so in this case the blame can be laid solely on their feet – they seem to have lost all sense of comic timing altogether. Jokes go on on in an awkward belabored way, when succinct and simple would have delivered the punchline so much better. Then again, it probably doesn’t matter how good their timing is, because the jokes themselves are lazy and shocking bad. They rely heavily on the tired old “OMG GIRLS ARE SLUTTY LOLOLOLOL!” thing, the “LOOK YOU GUYS, GUYS ARE ALL LIKE SO HORNY AND DUMB LOLOLOLOL!” thing, and the “BLACK GUYS TALKING IN EXAGGERATED GHETTO ACCENTS ARE SO FUNNY LOLOLOLOL!” thing, and don’t forget “YOU ARE SO GAY LOLOLOLOL!” and “YOU ARE A PEDO LOLOLOLOL!” too. It’s like this movie was written by dumb eight-year olds for kids their age.
Anyway, the only thing noteworthy about this thing is just how the cast members willingly humiliate themselves like this in a movie. I know, everyone needs to get paid, but getting paid to fish out sanitary pads from clogged toilets using one’s hand would probably be a better alternative than showing up in this – something that would haunt them for the rest of their lives. Oh, and it’s also Kim Kardashian’s movie debut. She’s actually one of the more tolerable cast members here, which says a lot about the overall quality of the movie.
Take the title of the movie as a warning. I’d strongly recommend staying away as if your life depends on it.
