Main cast: Maggie Q (Christine), Luke Hemsworth (Neil), Alex Essoe (Samantha), Kat Ingkarat (Madee), and Kelly B Jones (Kanda)
Director: Darren Lynn Bousman

Major spoilers are present here, because they are needed to explain what a dumb thing this movie is.

Well, here’s Luke Hemsworth, people, if you have ever been curious about the other Hemsworth brother. While there is a family resemblance, this Mr Hemsworth is on the chubby side. Perhaps this is an unpopular opinion, but I find his chubbiness far more attractive than the unrealistically cut bodies of the other two brothers. In fact, looking at him helps me get through this awful waste of time.

I said “looking”, by the way. It’s hard to appreciate his acting, given how lack he is here in terms of screen presence and all.

He plays Neil, who is vacationing in some island in Thailand with his wife Christine. When this movie opens, the two of them wake up in a state of disorientation: they can’t recall what happened the day before. He has dirt on his fingers, while she has bruises around her neck, so perhaps what happened the day before couldn’t be good.

They want to leave the place, but they can’t board the ferry because their passports have mysteriously vanished. So, they begin to wander around the village, looking for answers as to what is happening to them.

Now, right off, Death of Me suffers from a cracked premise. It turns out that the islanders need to sacrifice a pregnant woman every year to get their wish granted, and Christine is their choice for their annual sacrifice.

However, she is not pregnant, so they somehow magically induce her to be in that state. This in addition to them taking the trouble to drug her, lie to her, subject her to all kinds of weird and scary crap, even have her husband commit suicide in a gory way in front of her.

Then, when they need to sacrifice her to stop an incoming “typhoon”—note to the people behind this movie, we don’t have typhoons in this part of the world—they ask her to voluntarily choose to be sacrificed to save them. Wait, what? If her sacrifice needed to be voluntary, why do all that to her first?

Let’s just say that “Oh, you made my husband cut open his gut and pull out his intestines in front of me… sure, I’ll die for all of you!” isn’t exactly how Christine responds to that.

That’s the only smart thing she does in this movie. She and Nell repeatedly split up, believe the things told to her even after it is clear that they can’t trust anyone on the island, take and drink stuff from strangers again repeatedly even after getting drugged a few times prior… these two are as brain damaged as the islanders, let’s just say.

Also, Christine keeps blacking out and coming to in this movie. I eventually start keeping count of how often that happens to her, only to have to stop when the painful throbbing in my head gets too much to overlook.

This movie is unbelievably stupid in every aspect, and there is no redeeming grace at all to it. Folks that risk their brain watching this thing may find that the title could very well apply to their state after the ordeal.

Don’t watch this thing, for the love that is all is holy and decent in the world!