Harlequin Temptation, $3.75, ISBN 0-373-25859-3
Contemporary Romance, 1999
Someone please hand me the ice box. Heck, don’t bother, just pour the ice over my head before I burst into flames. This book has one hottie of a guy, and I do mean hot. Austin McBride can do anything and everything he can do and I can just swoon from that. Really, these sort of books should be put out more. Forget chocolates – give me more of Austin McBride and I’d die happy.
Okay, where was I? Yes, Austin. This guy owns a male strip revue club thingie called Fantasy for Hire that caters to women who want 20 minutes of eye candy. Poor man is burned from relationships where the women want Austin the Cowboy/Pirate/Loverboy/Delivery Boy instead of Just Austin, and hence, now that he is 30, he decides to hang up the G-string and pay more attention to his landscaping business. Austin, I need landscaping. Get over here ASAP – clothing optional. Ahem.
Austin is such a hunk. He’s funny, witty, wicked, has dexterous and naughty fingers and tongues and *beep*, and is a nice gentle soul who knows that when he’s in love, wham! He’s in love 150%, body and soul. My kind of guy. The fact that he fills his jeans just nice is an added bonus. A huge added bonus. Oh, what a guy!
This book is bad for me. How can I live my boring life after meeting hunks like Austin in my books? It’s really not fair.
Heroine? Plot? Er, is there a heroine in this story? Let me check. Oh yeah, now I remember. Some silly chit who insists that she is independent even as she bends over backwards to accommodate her family and her nasty boss. Obviously she hasn’t been following the Bill Clinton Courthouse Circuit – hasn’t she heard of a sexual harassment suit? But who cares. Let me push the silly woman out of the way – “Shoo! Get out of the way! Scram!” – and get back to Austin.
Honey, Austin may be one sensitive new age guy, but he is also a very predatory guy. In a good way, of course. Watch him get all hot and whisper naughty things to that silly woman. Ooh mama. There’s this really hot foreplay session in an elevator, and when they finally get naked, I need an ice bath. Christmas Fantasy is right, alright.
This book is simply bad for me. A lady needs some peace and quiet, not hormonal palpitations and wastage of drool (not to mention squandering of a gallon of iced root beer). There should be a warning tag: “Hot sexy hunk lets everything hang out inside!” Spontaneous combustion a high risk among readers of this book.. Isn’t the mere male population of the world lucky Austin isn’t a real person?
Back to Austin. I want more Austin! More, more, more!