Main cast: Christopher Cazenove (Tom Martin), Celia Gregory (Sarah), Diana Dors (Mrs Ardoy), Robert Urquhart (Harry), Jacob Witkin (The Woodcutter), Adrian Mann (Tibor), Victoria Wood (Sophy), and Sophie Kind (Eloise)
Director: Tom Clegg

Newlyweds Tom and Sarah are going to his boss Harry’s lovely cottage in the great rustics for their honeymoon. It’s going to be perfect: “beautiful wild gardens” with tame magpies… oh, and a house owned by a unnervingly chirpy and upbeat old woman and eight feral children who may or may not be werewolves. Then again, if Tom hadn’t been driving at a breakneck speed and the brake hadn’t mysteriously broken down, maybe they wouldn’t get up stuck in the middle of the woods. When you’re destined to get lost and have to take shelter at a big house owned by a creepy woman, that’s the way it goes, I suppose.

Children of the Full Moon caused quite a storm when it first aired in the UK, as there was a blackout that caused folks to miss some early parts. Frankly, I can’t imagine why: perhaps back in those days people were more lacking for choices when it came to horror flicks, but I personally won’t fret should this draggy, meandering episode cut off halfway and I never know of what happened. I’d probably be off doing more interesting things, as the bulk of this episode consists of two dim-witted, unlikable twits wandering around some hallways while nothing else really happens until much, much later. There are children here, and it looks like they were all told to stand stiff, talk in a monotone, and stare blankly as much as possible. Are these werewolf kids or newly raised zombies? It’s hard to tell, as I’d expect werewolves to be a bit more energetic and chomping to take a bite.

This episode only offers terminal boredom and nothing else. No scares, no atmosphere, no chills, no gore, no build up, no memorable characters – absolutely freaking nothing of value can be found here, and hence, skipping it means absolutely nothing of value is lost.