Main cast: Seann William Scott (Gary Houseman), Leonor Varela (Norma Sanchez), Brando Eaton (Mike Jensen), Ryan Simpkins (Amy), Allen Evangelista (Maricar), Brent Anderson (Bill Jenson), Justin Chon (Joe Chang), Joseph Dwyer (Tommy Tremble), Deke Anderson (Gil Houseman), and Randy Quaid (Coach Lew Tuttle)
Director: Danny Leiner
I hope you aren’t expecting Balls Out: Gary the Tennis Coach to be full of raunchy toilet humor and sex jokes because this is a surprisingly earnest movie that, for the most part, opts for feel-good underdogs-triumphant drama over cheap laughs. Not that it ditches the sex jokes and toilet humor completely, since this is that kind of movie after all.
He is not diagnosed with any psychological disorder, but Gary Woodhouse, our hero, is rather… hyperactive, let’s just say. He avoids tennis despite having a passion for it because… hmm, am I actually trying to make sense of this movie? Let’s just say that Gary is a janitor in this high school when the tennis coach Lew unexpectedly dies, leaving the tennis team in the capable hands of Gary. Yes, Randy Quaid’s character dies some ten minutes into the movie, so I hope you aren’t watching this movie just to see him. Unless you want to see him hump a midget, that is.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the tennis team comprises all the loser stereotypes you can think of, so this is Gary’s moment to shine as the eccentric and verbally abusive coach with a heart of gold. The rest of the movie is pretty predictable if you have watched any Adam Sandler movies.
Balls Out: Gary the Tennis Coach isn’t a bad or good movie, just a dull one. The jokes, most of them aimed to shock, feel so puerile and lame. Kids shouting obscenities and getting whacked aren’t as funny as they used to be, sigh. The sight of Seann William Scott squeezing his soiled jockstrap to add its juices into his breakfast protein shake is pretty gross but unfortunately, that scene forgets to be funny as well. Mr Scott tries and he even bares his bare behind twice in this movie, but all that glory glory hallelujah that are his bouncy tight buns cannot hide the fact that this is a dull time with plenty of mistimed attempts at comedy. And, really, being boring is the worst crime a comedy can commit, if you ask me.
They really are some nice buns, though. I have to give that man credit for trying to save this movie.