Rebel Moon – Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)
A slow-motion snoozefest that makes you wish for the sweet release of a Death Star blast.
A slow-motion snoozefest that makes you wish for the sweet release of a Death Star blast.
Space, time, and studio execs collide in a demonic jigsaw puzzle. Pinhead’s here, but coherence isn’t.
Pinhead trades existential dread for cheesy one-liners and viewers trade 97 minutes of their lives for a nap. A true hell on earth.
Anacondas: Trail of Blood slithers into absurdity with rubbery CGI, laughable acting, and nonsensical plot.
Maybe-incest, pox, and a hero named Cockburn… Virginia Henley’s Wild Hearts is a clunky bodice-ripper that’s so bad, it’s almost good.
Puzzle boxes meet psychiatry in a sequel that is as necessary as sunscreen in the underworld.
With This Ring breaks Amanda Quick’s “A” title trend but not her formula.
Working-class leads intrigue yet rushed romance and weak mystery disappoint.
Ancient Zamar meets modern tedium in a romance that’s more mishap than mischief.
Medieval romance meets geological obsession in a crystal-clear case of literary ennui.