Main cast: Josh Hartnett (Matt Sullivan), Shannyn Sossamon (Erica), Paulo Costanzo (Ryan), Adam Trese (John Sullivan), and Vinessa Shaw (Nicole)
Director: Michael Lehmann

Dr Giggles has a lot of sympathy for hero Matt Sullivan of 40 Days and 40 Nights.

“A fucking loser keeps getting laid and having such a hard time about it, he decides to go celibate for 40 days? And 40 days is so hard to live without sex? Go kiss my fucking ass!”

Men. They get so jealous over silly things.

But seriously, is 40 days that long a period to go without sex? Or in the words of Dr Giggles, “Come on! I have gone without for 18 years!”

“But Matt here vows that the 40 days thing also means that he can’t get very friendly with his left hand, if you know what I mean,” I tell him.

“Big fucking deal!”

“But – ”

“Crap movie. Sucks worse than Monica Lewinsky.”

“I hear they say she does it pretty well,” I murmur.

“Hmmmph. And besides, this movie is stupid.”

“Okay,” I say agreeably.

“Look at that dotcom company Matt works in. I don’t think there are that many women in a dotcom company (not counting receptionists). Not that I’m sexist, but seriously, the last time I dropped by that Silicon Valley place, it’s pretty much a horny geek area.”

“And the women, spookily enough, look a lot like nudie mag models,” I point out.

“There’s this convention I attended where they hired topless models to distribute pamphlets around. It’s scary. All those stories of bespectacled horny, pimpled Bill-Gates-lookalike gits in permanent lust-o-bot mode must be true. There was this guy I was talking about about the possibility of starting up a database program for my research, but his eyes were glued to this big-breasted cartoon woman on a big screen.”

“And you have a horrible time,” I say soothingly while secretly rolling up my eyes. (While also making a note to find out of they have topless male models around, and if yes, accompany him the next time he gets invited to these conference thingies.)

“But other than the high woman quota, which must be those technogeeks’ wet dream, I guess this movie is just like those geeks.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. They’re so hard up and horny, their brains shut down.”

“What do you think of that Angelina Jolie knockoff actress anyway? Is Shannyn Sossamon any good?”

“She makes me want to chew on rusty nails.”

“Fair enough. And can I have your rating for this movie, dear?”

Dr Giggles frowns. “Maybe one oogie.”

So one oogie it is.