Main cast: Vivica A Fox (Bridget), Cristine Prosperi (Anna), James Nitti (“Prince Edward”), Tracy Nelson (Detective Klein), Jonathan Stoddard (Liam), Jasmine Aivaliotis (Heather), Jeremy Sry (Joey), Jamie Bernadette (Mia), Morgan Dixon (Carrie), Jon Sprik (Matt), and Chris Rouse (Detective Ryan)
Director: David DeCoteau

The Wrong Prince Charming is another Lifetime flick I find myself watching during my ignoble convalescence in a ward following surgery, and yes, it’s another psycho chasing after a woman thing. Don’t these people have any other plot to fall back on?

I’m also curious as to why Vivica A Fox gets top billing and even her face in the poster when the lead character is actually Anna. A quick research reveals that this movie is just one of an endless stream of movies with The Wrong in the title (The Wrong Cheer Captain, The Wrong Boy Next Door, and on and on, and I’m sure The Wrong Proctologist is in the works), and they all feature Ms Fox in a side role with that sees her saying in what is supposed to be a sassy manner, “You’ve picked the wrong whatever!” as the closing line in the movie. Given how dreadful the reviews had been for those movies, I can only imagine that Ms Fox and director David DeCoteau had some drinks together and came up with this plan to make as many cheap movies as possible for Lifetime in order to pad their retirement funds.

Mr DeCoteau used to do cheaply made horror and, later, softporn “horror” flicks, so his fingerprints are all over here. There are only three locations with the same pieces recycled over and over in a way that will make a soap opera prop department jealous, and if some folks online were correct, some of the locations, stock scenery scenes, and even set pieces had been reused from past movies. Now, this won’t be an issue if this result has been entertaining, but yikes, this movie blows hard chunks like a someone that had eaten too much before getting too drunk and is now bent over on the pavement.

Bridget, a realtor, and Anna, Bridget’s lawyer, believe that they have landed the deal of a lifetime when Prince Edward of Devonshire wants to invest millions of dollars into some development of theirs. Of course, these successful and intelligent career women don’t know how the Internet works despite being shown fiddling at some laptops often, because for some reason, they see no reason to believe that “Prince Edward” is lying despite the fact that (a) he has only one guy in his entourage, with no bodyguards or anyone else, (b) he doesn’t carry himself like someone born into royalty, and (c) the truth, that he is actually a con man, is revealed much, much later in a single search result on the Internet. Worse, it isn’t Anna or Bridget that does the search, but the standard in-every-Lifetime-movie character that discovers the truth, warns the idiot lead female character, and bites the dust shortly before the idiot discovers the evidence that has been sent to her.

So yes, Anna falls for “Edward”, and dismisses all reservations of the people around her that he may not be what he says he is. Worse, she blabs to him of the suspicions aimed at him from her BFF, thus making her directly responsible for this BFF’s eventual murder. Nice one.

Throughout it all, Cristine Prosperi emotes, deliver her lines, and moves around on screen like a marionette controlled by a very amateurish first-time puppeteer that is already planning to drop out of the circus to work at Burger King instead. I don’t know whether someone forced her to be in this movie, or they lied to her and led her to believe that she’d be great in this role, but she is terrible. She has only one single dead inside expression throughout the whole movie and the delivery of her lines exude low-battery android realness. Any other female cast member would have done a better job in her shoes.

Then there is “Edward”. James Nitti has zero charisma or chemistry with Ms Prosperi. Oddly enough, Jonathan Stoddard that plays the partner in crime of “Edward” looks far more like a stereotypical romance novel prince, so I wonder why he is reduced to playing this mostly silent bloke that shares some weirdly homoerotic scenes with “Edward” but never really delivering the man-on-man goodies. With Mr Nitti as “Edward”, our villain comes off more like a creepy non-threatening oddball of a short stature.

The pointlessness of this movie is underscored by how a single Internet search causes the bad guy’s plan to unravel completely, which therefore makes the good and the bad guys all look like first degree idiots. Worse, there is no reason for “Edward” to come back to confront Anna at the last minute of the movie, as he and Liam have successfully disappeared and eluded the cops’ trail. It was as if some higher-ups at Lifetime saw the initial cut and scowled at Mr DeCoteau, “Where’s that scene of the bad guy attacking the lead female character in the house? Every movie in Lifetime needs to have that scene, or we won’t buy it even if it’s sold for cheap when purchased in bulk with the rest of the 700 The Wrong movies!”

That confrontation isn’t even half assed, more like one-eighth assed, because the whole scene takes fewer than five minutes to be over with!

Horrible acting, horrible stupid plot, horrible boring execution—The Wrong Prince Charming is definitely all wrong all over.