Main cast: Kim Greist (Sarah), Kevin Geer (Joe), and Sharon Schlarth (Carmen)
Director: Tom Noonan

Used bookstore owner Sarah needs The Bargain alright.

You know how women are always associated with cats and sad, sad social awkwardness whenever they are in contact with books on a regular basis, such as by being a librarian or managing a bookstore? They may look hot by conventional standards, but apparently their contact with books makes them hideous and unable to get any man for some reason.

So yes, Sarah develops a crush on a customer, Joe, who isn’t even that hot, which makes the whole thing feel a lot more insulting. Now, Sarah seeks a way to be someone else—a hotter, more sexy person that will Joe will be attracted to.

She sees an ad in the newspaper promising to give anyone a “new face” for a fee. Poor Sarah will soon wish that the service is merely a face lift and not what she ends up getting!

This is a watchable episode, mostly because Kim Greist is solid here. She carries the entire episode on her shoulder to the finish line, thanks to her giving her character just the right balance of pathetic desperation to make Sarah a sad character but not too pathetic to the point of becoming a laughingstock instead.

However, Kevin Geer puts on a horrible emotion-free “I am being hold hostage on this set, but I can’t even blink for help because I’m that wooden!”-tier performance. This is what makes Sarah a laughingstock, as that woman is doing all that gymnastic routines to get this fellow. Really, this is the kind of man Sarah is settle for?

Aside from that, this is a pretty standard episode that is mandatory in every anthology TV show back in those days. I guess Hollywood was—still is—very keen to tell women to be content with their looks, even as the industry does its hardest to push a beauty standard that is nigh unattainable without some nips, tucks, shots, and lasers. I can’t blame them, as keeping women frustrated and unhappy is a pretty effective marketing tactic throughout the ages, but still, the double standards and the hypocrisy are always tad too obvious.

The horribly miscast love interest almost tipped this episode over into the two oogie territory, but the leading lady manages to hold the whole thing together well. All in all, it’s a watchable but also pedestrian and familiar episode that won’t be in the running anytime soon for the title of the best episode on this show.