VT Bonds, $0.99, ISBN 979-8215422595
Sci-fi Erotica, 2022
People, be very aware that VT Bonds’s Tamed by the Triceratops is not about a shape-shifter hero rutting on the heroine all the way to true love city.
That thing is an actual triceratops.
This is a triceratops. This is the alpha male hero. That is probably his O-face.
Our feisty heroine Verral breaks out of captivity only to find herself on a dinosaur planet, and yeah, I’m sure you can guess what happens next. There’s no plot progression, no characterization, nothing, just a triceratops catching her and almost immediately doing the boom-boom-acka-lacka-boom onto her perplexingly super stretchable nether regions.
He slams his hips down. Agony shreds my sense of self as his knot ruins me, inflating behind my pubic bone. The spikes dig into sensitive organs, rubbing my compressed g-spot and destroying my ability to breathe.
His tip mashes against my cervix. Fiery pain shoots from the contact, growing as his flanges umbrella impossibly further. The ring of spikes create horrible bliss as they reorganize my insides.
His seed rushes straight into my womb. It bathes my most intimate organ, trapped by his monstrous knots.
Pain streaks through my neck as he pushes my leg out of the way and sinks his beak into my flesh, his tail simultaneously stabbing my thigh yet again. Wonderful euphoria follows as dark flames lick through my body. I orgasm and sob as his mark crumbles my defenses. His masculine presence settles into my soul.
I guess I’m not the target audience for this kind of fetish story because this kind of stuff feels more like body horror than erotica to me. My goodness, can she even stand up, much less walk, after this?
Oh, and the triceratops talks like an unga bunga caveman. No, really.
“No cry. Nest. Now,” he demands.
Yeesh, I definitely have stepped onto a really weird slice of the genre. How did that song go again? “Open the door, get on the floor—everybody eff the dinosaur”?
The scariest thing about all of this is that there is a “USA Today Bestselling Author” on the cover! People must be really digging dino-dongs, and I think I have best complete my underground bunker ASAP. I have a feeling that I will really need it soon.
