Underworld: Blood Wars (2016)
The fate of the vampires rests on Selene’s incompetent shoulders. Oh god, they are all so screwed.
Tag:Kate Beckinsale
Total Recall (2012)
Alright, who are the morons that asked for this thing to be made? WHO?
Underworld: Awakening (2012)
Best watched with brain shut down and minimal expectations – it may actually be fun if you do that.
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)
This is a prequel about things that are already known if you have watched the first movie in the franchise.
Underworld: Evolution (2006)
Who will win in a cage fight: Selene or Alice? My bet is on Alice; Selene is a bit on the useless side.
Van Helsing (2004)
Yes, Hugh Jackman is hot, but this is one of the absolute worst movies I’ve ever seen.
Laurel Canyon (2002)
Another story of rich white people and their first world problems. Who cares about which of these bores is sleeping with whom?
Underworld (2003)
Vampires in trench coats go pew-pew at angry werewolves, ooh!
Serendipity (2001)
It won’t be artistic or credible, but this one makes me feel all sweet and warm inside.
Pearl Harbor (2001)
Ooh, it’s a bomb! Get it?
