
Deep Rising (1998)
Tentacles and a titanic lack of logic.

Tentacles and a titanic lack of logic.
Nicolas Cage! Dangerous animals and men with guns!
It’s better than Van Helsing, for what that’s worth!
Magic and mad messiahs make a malevolent mix.
This movie wants to be funny, but it isn’t. It wants to be sexy, but it also isn’t that as well.
Ugh, what a mess this turns out to be. Hugh Jackman is fine, though!
The shiniest thing here is Michael Douglas’s new facelift.
What a boring chick-lit navel-gazing snore.
I want to have Wolverine’s babies. That is all.
A cheesy movie like the original, but without the magic.