Main cast: Kathryn Hahn (Agnes O’Connor, Agatha Harkness), Joe Locke (Phil Jones), Debra Jo Rupp (Mrs Hart), and Aubrey Plaza (Rio Vidal)
Director: Jac Schaeffer
Greetings, fellow sufferers of superhero fatigue! Yours truly has been “volunteered” to review the latest MCU series Agatha All Along.
Why, you ask? Well, apparently being the lone defender of She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (aided by copious amounts of tequila) and the only person who didn’t run screaming from the Charmed reboot makes me the perfect candidate to weather this storm.
My so-called friends figure if I can survive those, I must be immune to Marvel’s kryptonite. (Yes, I know that’s DC. No, I don’t care anymore.)
So here I am, lured by the siren song of bribery in the form of dark Belgian chocolates. What can I say? I’m easier to manipulate than Loki with a “World’s Best Brother” mug.
From the get-go, it’s clear this show is pulling a WandaVision faster than you can say “It was Agatha all along!” We’re introduced to Agnes of Westview, a show-within-a-show that’s more meta than a Reddit thread about meta humor. Our protagonist is Agnes O’Connor, a detective investigating a potential murder. Spoiler alert: the real victim here is your time.
The humor falls flatter than Vision after his Infinity Stone was yoinked, and the mystery is about as compelling as watching paint dry in the Quantum Realm. The characters feel like they were designed by an AI that was fed nothing but rejected sitcom scripts and Marvel merchandise catalogs.
When the big “reveal” finally comes, it’s in the last 10 minutes, offering all the satisfaction of a post-credit scene that just shows Stan Lee’s toenail clippings. The much-hyped posterior reveal of Kathryn Hahn feels more awkward than Thor trying to use the NYC subway. It’s a scene so pointless, even Drax wouldn’t stand still for it.
The real issue is that this episode is more filler than a Thanksgiving turkey. WandaVision at least teased us with questions. Why is Vision still alive? Wait, they have kids now? What is happening, what is everything a sitcom? Here, we’re left wondering why we should care about Agnes O’Connor, a character that is obviously not real and hence has no real emotional connection to the audience.
As for Agatha Harkness, in the comics, she’s a powerful old witch. In WandaVision, she’s a barely developed original character that gets her own theme song for some reason. You can only wonder whether Ms Hahn has called in a few favors from Disney to get her own show with a character that nobody is clamoring for.
In conclusion, if it weren’t for these Belgian chocolates (which, by the way, are more complex and satisfying than the plot), I’d be less likely to continue this series than Thanos is to win Father of the Year.
So, unless the next episode reveals that Agatha’s been “Mephisto all along” (please, no), I’ll be here, drowning my sorrows in cocoa-based confections and wondering if it’s too late to switch to DC. At least their messes are consistent.
Rating: 2 out of 5 infinity stones, and that’s being generous. I think the chocolates are getting to me.
