Main cast: Joel David Moore (Ben), Tamara Feldman (Marybeth), Deon Richmond (Marcus), Mercedes McNab (Misty), Parry Shen (Shawn), Joel Murray (Shapiro), Joleigh Fioreavanti (Jenna), Richard Riehle (Mr Permatteo), Patrika Darbo (Mrs Permatteo), Robert Englund (Sampson), Tony Todd (Reverend Zombie), and Kane Hodder (Victor Crowley)
Director: Adam Green
Hatchet is a quite sneaky thing. The publicity material suggests that this is a nudge-wink type of homage to those slasher movies like Friday the 13th, but this latest Kane Hodder vehicle ends up being an unimaginative and derivative imitation of those movies that it claims to pay homage to.
The story is pretty simple. A bunch of people board a river boat for a cruise of the New Orleans bayou one fine day when they learn of what is supposed to be the local urban legend. A deformed fellow, Victor Crawley, is said to lurk in the wilderness, having gone deranged after the death of his father. The poor kid had been tormented by the locals, but the death of his father had pushed him over the brink. Of course, we soon learn that Victor Crawley is no legend as our boat crew gets stranded after the boat malfunctions, leaving them at the mercy of the night as well as our happy psychotic fiend.
Watching this movie, I can only wonder at how many body parts a body is supposed to have. Victor here doesn’t just kill people, he rips them apart with his bare hands and pulls out really fake-looking intestines and what not to celebrate his bloody spree. The gore looks really fake, and as a result, barring one or two inventive death scenes, the whole thing is far more hilarious than scary.
Perhaps this is what they meant by “homage”? To make a comedic spoof of Friday the 13th on a budget of fifty dollars? Either way, this is better off viewed as a campy comedy than a creepy horror film. Adjust your expectations accordingly.
Loves boys that sparkle, unicorns, money, Lego, chocolates, tasty buffets, video game music, and fantastical stories.