Main cast: Jane Levy (Mia Allen), Shiloh Fernandez (David Allen), Lou Taylor Pucci (Eric), Jessica Lucas (Olivia), and Elizabeth Blackmore (Natalie)
Director: Fede Alvarez
Sigh, why do these people keep remaking old movies that do not need to be remade? The fact that Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi are among the co-producers of this Evil Dead is only hydrochloric acid on the wound – this thing is pointless, and yet, endorsed and abetted by the people behind the original franchise. I suppose the rent needs to be paid, and living in LA is expensive, sigh.
This Evil Dead brings five idiots, just like the original film, to a remote cabin. The infamous tree rape scene is now something more akin to the lipstick rape scene in Night of the Demons 2, but without any cheeky overtones to make that lipstick scene more hilarious than sad. In fact, this particular movie – which I’m still note sure whether it’s a sequel or a reboot – strips away any mischievous humor and, instead up the gore. Only, the CGI in the gory scenes often end up less frightening than the more restrained scenes of the original movie.
Worse, the main characters are so stupid, it’s hard not to root for their deaths. David brings his sister Mia and their friends to this cabin, because apparently a stay at a cabin is the best way to help Mia overcome her heroin addiction. I don’t know, I’d start abusing chemicals again if I have to spend so much time cooped up with this people. At any rate, these idiots find rotting animal corpses all over the place in the cellar, but instead of driving off ASAP to somewhere less sinister, they go, ooh, demonic-looking book, so pretty. Eric, a schoolteacher who is also conveniently enough a dabbler in these things – maybe this movie is trying to tell me something about teachers in general – start reading aloud the lines in that book, and so it begins.
As I’ve mentioned, the gore here is much more graphic, but much of the gore is caused by these people being so bloody stupid. They can be counted on to do the worst possible thing in every scenario – from withholding crucial information to the standard walking off alone into dark places to investigate creepy sounds – so it’s hard to get invested emotionally in their fates. There are some emotional moments between David and Mia as well as David and Eric, but because these characters are as deep as a puddle, I can’t give a care. Even the gore gets boring after a while, because everything feels pointless and gratuitous. It is as if the people behind this movie have no idea what to do with it, so they just crank up the blood bath and pray that the audience is easily entertained by such things.
Boring, soulless, and mind-numbingly dreadful, Evil Dead is like a drill to the head. It’s best to skip this one and watch the original 1981 version instead.
Loves boys that sparkle, unicorns, money, Lego, chocolates, tasty buffets, video game music, and fantastical stories.