Loveswept, $3.95, ISBN 0-553-44143-4
Contemporary Romance, 1991
This book is hilarious, there’s no way to describe this book other than it is a very campy Swept Away in the Blue Lagoon So Swiss Me into Family Way, Robinson! take of the stranded on the island, me and a rugged hunk and nobody else but mosquitoes listening to us boink tale. The hero is a kung-fu master dude named Sterling Jakes and the heroine is a ridiculously virginal and innocent classical musician named Diedre Forsythe.
They find themselves stranded on a deserted island paradise when their cruise liner did its own take on the Titanic. He is a kung-fu zen dude, so naturally he has no problems making things habitable for the both of them, including tailoring some skimpy outfit, 100% natural fiber of course, that Victoria’s and even Victor’s Secret will envy. He teaches her kung-fu, peeks up at her as she climbs coconut trees, and when she freaks out when he decides to do a Horny He-Man on her, they actually embark on a chase across the island. I’m not joking, Diedre actually flees across the island like a hunted deer. When the hero jumps down from a high drop and sniffs the air for her, I really crack up and howl with laughter. Is this book for real?
I don’t know if I should be amused or disturbed by the fact that the author dedicates this book to her father.
The primal mating thing is hilarious and the lovemaking scenes have a lurid He-Man conga tinge to them, and yes, everything’s rather purple. But it’s all good and fun because I have never read anything as hilariously over-the-top “primitive must-mate-now” as this book. The hero is an overbearing macho he-man, the heroine a bit of a dumb bunny, but who cares? This book’s plot isn’t one that makes much sense in the first place. Everything fits together to create a gloriously cheesy escapist fantasy where one can be unbearably simpering and virginal in a ridiculous fantasy of being deserted on island with a man whom we are Oh! So helpless! To resist! Oh!
I love this. I even enjoy the silly fantasy of a dumb doe virgin ravished silly by a caveman who can’t help but to be overcome with desire for her, if you must know. So surreal, so campy, and so bad it just has to be deliciously fine, Date with the Devil is a date with wholesome cheesy goodness with a generous helping of ridiculous loincloth heavy petting on the side. Who can resist such a daringly campy invitation? I can’t. I will even book a ticket for a return visit. Just don’t tell anybody. I don’t want my serious romance reader membership card be revoked.