ME Clayton, $2.99
Contemporary Erotica, 2018
Okay, people, I have a question for you all. Let’s say that there is a guy who is only 28, but is already a super-rich type. He has demons, but he doesn’t act on them – he just have them to be edgy, like that tattoo of God and Satan playing chess on his back, He sends you flowers every morning after asking you to marry him. His pee-pee is almost ten inches long and he knows how to use it to keep you spinning round and round like a record player that plays Britney Spears’s Make Me non-stop – I want you to make me move, like it ain’t a choice for you…
What will you do with such a man? Marry him at once? Spend all his money before dumping him?
For Isabella DeLucci, she’s wondering how she’s ever going to dump Julian Moretti, because she will never let any man own her after she has seen what men did to her mother, et silly bint cetera. I don’t get it. Can’t she just lay back and enjoy the ride, even if she didn’t want to marry him? It’s the current year, surely an independent woman can get her jollies without worrying about the man becoming her ball and chain! He’s a catch, there’s no harm living in sin with him forever and ever – or until his money runs out, at least.
If I could overlook this silliness, Claiming Isabella would be one fabulous firecracker of a read. Julian is really too good to be true, as he genuinely wants to marry our heroine; it’s both love and lust at first sight for him. What I also love about this one is that the guy has one gloriously filthy imagination and a mouth to match. There aren’t many authors out there that have their main characters talk dirty while doing the filthy, but here, baby, like Britney would say, OOooo OoooOOOo OOooOO. Sex in public places, voyeurism, ooh la la.
The rest of the story isn’t too deep, as it’s patterned after the usual “Bad boy, angst, sex, more sex, now give me EL James money!” formula, but this one almost works perfectly. Almost, that is. I also have to sit through the heroine’s annoying, whiny acting like she’s the most unlucky person to have a man like Julian wanting her heart as well as her honey. There’s fantasy, and then there’s the heroine being a dumbass, and this one skirts dangerous close to latter territory quite often here.
Still, four oogies for a man like Julian Moretti. More is right, baby!
