Pocket, $6.99, ISBN 0-671-04293-9
Contemporary Romance, 2001
Do you love stories of poor little rich girls? You know, those sad girls riding horses and falling for that much older, handsome groom figure in their lives? Those sad heroines who are constantly in love with their daddies that they spend their lives flitting from daddy figures?
Laura Moore’s “I’m in love with him since I was, like, 13!” romance, Chance Meeting, will be right up your alley. Me, the moment I read the first chapter where our 13 or 14-year old flat-chested heroine Ty “Short for Tiresomely Girly” Stannard acting all hot over 23-year old equestrian stud Steve Sheppard and then getting all jealous when she and her stereotype buxom, adventurous girlfriend caught him with another girl… “How Britney Spears!” I shriek in horror and rush to the decontamination room for two hours of hot shower.
Years pass, Tiresome gets breasts and fills up, but she is all for Steve. When she grows up, she hears that Steve is almost ruined thanks to some “I almost screwed this hot skank and my horse broke its leg – I am now so guilt-ridden!” poignant mama-drama. Tiresome understands. She shoves her pointy chest at Steve and offers to do anything – anything! – for her hero. Steve, however, mistakes her for some selfish debutante, and so he turns her away even as he lusts for her. He will not be pitied! Newsflash: he’s pathetic already. He challenges Tiresome to stay at his place and manage his ranch. Why, that sly old fox, exploiting a dumb groupie’s low IQ like that. I like him.
Tiresome agrees. She’ll do anything to prove herself! She will slave! She will comfort Steve! She will make her daddy happy! See, people? See? She’s a worthy human being now. She is a woman! She has a man, her horse, and her daddy figure. She is happy, full, content.
Tiresome can go chop some firewood with her teeth.
From 13 to… er, forever girly, our heroine Tiresome’s long, poignant, heartbreaking soul-searching odyssey from flat-chested Daddy’s Girl to buxom Daddy’s Horse-Dung Shoveling Girl. I feel tears coming on now, awww, my eyes. How beautiful, how beautiful.
On to the decontamination chamber once more.