Contracted (2013)
Careful, you may contract high blood pressure from all the obnoxious cretins in this movie.
Category:Film Reviews
The Martian (2015)
What happens when MacGyver gets scuttled to Mars and has everything at his disposal to do his survival stuff?
Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak on a Plane (2007)
Zombies on a plane, and it’s really downhill from there.
Legendary: Tomb of the Dragon (2013)
They paid Dolph Lundgren and Scott Adkins to be in this one, but don’t put in any martial arts scene? Dumbasses.
300: Rise of an Empire (2014)
The hero in this one is a major downgrade from Gerard Butler. Still, there’s always Eva Green.
Pawn Sacrifice (2015)
Poor Bobby Fischer. It turns out that he’s just a poor mentally unhinged guy oppressed by the government and capitalism and whatever.
Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials (2015)
This one borrows so heavily from many better movies, so why watch this one, and not those movies?
Hatchet III (2013)
It makes fun of the previous movie and goes all out dumb. Credit given for effort, I guess.
2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.
The Vatican Tapes (2015)
Go watch The Omen or something – it’d be much better than this dreary waste of time.
