Violet among the Roses by Cricket Starr
A woman is so heartbroken that a statue offers to become human so that he can pity-shag her. Romance, ladies and gentlemen.
Category:2 Oogies
Tragic Coolness by Giselle Renarde
Go watch the opera of Eugene Onegin instead, at least that one has music and people waving their arms around.
Hoax (2019)
There is a homicidal Bigfoot here, but the real killer is the stinging boredom from sitting through this thing.
Beauty Awakened by Alice Gaines
The hero and the heroine have fabulous sex… and more sex… and more sex… and oh god, please stop.
The Reluctant Bride by Donna Hatch
A heroine does a very, very stupid thing and gets rewarded with a hot, rich guy. If only real life worked similarly.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
If a sophomore slump can be applied to a movie franchise, then this one is more of a sophomore crash.
Just Live, Juliette! by Stephanie Andrassy
Sadly, this story died of a terminal lack of anything interesting.
Black Site Delta (2017)
Here’s another dud to add into Cam Gigandet’s CV. That guy really needs a better agent.
Disco by Kylie Minogue
How can Kylie Minogue make disco music sound so sedate and snooze-inducing?
The Jackal (1997)
Go watch or read the original The Day of the Jackal, and skip this blundering remake.