Main cast: Jude Law (Jod Na Nawood), Ryan Kiera Armstrong (Fern), Kyriana Kratter (KB), Robert Timothy Smith (Neel), Ravi Cabot-Conyers (Wim), Nick Frost (SM-33), Kerry Condon (Fara), and Tunde Adebimpe (Wendle)
Director: Lee Isaac Chung
Okay, things are really depressing now. Star Wars: Skeleton Crew has the most buzz in the media since it came on air, and it’s about how the first two episodes, which were aired on the same day, had far, far worse ratings than The Acolyte and Andor. (Boy, I’m sure Disney is thrilled that Lucasfilm had signed on for a second season of Andor!)
Does this show deserve such an ignominy? Well, it’s nowhere as bad as the recent Star Wars shows, but sadly, the ratings reflect how so many people have been turned off by so many bad Star Wars shows one after another that they don’t even care about giving this show a chance. Actually, most people I talk to don’t even know that this show is airing, and when I tell them about the show, they just aren’t interested.
It is apathy, not hatred, that kills an IP, and it sure looks like Star Wars is reaching that stage, if it hasn’t already. What really saddens me here is that I am also apathetic enough not to feel even a twinge of sadness about this. Instead, it’s more of a “Okay, now can they just pull the plug and end its suffering?” thing.
Anyway, We’re Gonna Be in So Much Trouble is the episode before the finale… and sadly, nobody cares.
It’s easy to see why. Why this isn’t a bad episode per se, as it’s watchable in a “left to play in the background as one does the dishes” way, but we all know those kids would have to go home anyway, and since we’re near the end, here they are, finally reuniting with their parents at the end.
The three people following the series so far may be thinking, “Ooh, does this mean that there will be a grand showdown between the kids and the pirates? Will Brutus and Jod engage in a homoerotic wrestling match to make those creepy people drooling over Brutus moan in delight? Will the elephant kid get naked and make these creepy fans die of a heart attack with a smile on their faces?”
Sadly, the entire episode is just people walking around or maybe running a bit from one end to another.
Brutus is dispatched in a most anticlimactic “Wait… that’s it?” manner despite being built up as some kind of main villain in Jod’s arc.
Jod and the kids once again try to get control of SM-33, like this hasn’t been happening in the last few episodes over and over.
Jod once again cows the kids into listening to them like this hasn’t been happening over and over in the entire season.
Seriously, have these people forgotten how to make an action-packed show? Did they blow all their budget on Jude Law’s salary and Kathleen Kennedy’s happy powder habits and can’t spare any loose change for fight scenes?
It’s the same issue with all the past Disney+ Star Wars shows: every episode is just people waddling from this end of the screen to the other end, launching into exposition and clumsy one-liners that rarely hit the mark, like products assembled and pushed out of an assembly line in a most soulless manner, which is exactly what these shows are.
The final cliffhanger scene is Jude Law approaching the kids with a glowing lightsaber, and my only thought is how canon has been so completely shot that anyone and everyone can use a lightsaber now.
Just pull the plug on Star Wars, for the love of Exar Kun’s +5 metallic wonder thong of power.
