Main cast: Cam Gigandet (The Best Man), Jason Patric (The Husband), Natalie Burn (The Bride), Orlando Jones (Groomsman), Ser’Darius Blain (The Groom), Pancho Moler (T-Bone), Neb Chupin (Big Sexy), DY Sao (Groomsman), Sam Lee Herring (Groomsman), Alan Silva (Groomsman), and Nicole Arlyn (The Wife)
Director: Timothy Woodward Jr
File Til Death Do Us Part under The Crap I Watch for Cam Gigandet #28,396 because… sheesh. Sure, he had been in far worse movies to pay the rent, but the poor guy is trying his hardest here to camp things up and chew scenery, but the movie itself is so drab and lifeless that I feel like I should stand up and applaud extra hard for him out of pity.
Still, I can’t say that I regret watching this movie, if only because he looks like he’d filled up a bit, no longer on the skeletal side that much, and he looks so dapper and handsome in that suit and stubble. Okay, okay, I’m easy, but I did say that I watch this thing because I want to look at him, after all.
This movie had been compared to Ready or Not, only without the woo-woo stuff, but I beg to differ. The only superficial similarity here is that the lead female character, who is never named, is a bride that finds herself in danger.
Basically, the bride and her groom work for the “university”, which is actually an assassination HQ, and for some reason she goes ahead to marry her man, only to chicken out at the last minute because she decides now that she wants to run away and live a normal life. Her man can’t have that, as the university never lets anyone leave unless it’s in a body bag, so he sends his best man and seven groomsmen to detain her as he talks to the university folks to leave them be.
Only, for some reason, the groom takes his time having a candlelight dinner for one or something. Meanwhile, the borderline deranged best man leads the others to break in, and the bride decides that she’d just murder them all as they come at her because why not.
While this seems interesting on paper, the execution is marred by the fact that the movie is not the most happening thing to watch. I’d think Orlando Jones and Pancho Moler will bring on some funny, but they, especially the former, seem to be in the movie just counting the minutes until they can get off the clock.
It is Mr Gigandet that is the only one here that seems to be trying hard, as if his career depended on this movie doing well to survive, but come on, there would be no shortage of terrible movies he can and will likely be in after this one. I do appreciate his efforts and his pretty, but I also feel quite embarrassed for him because he’s trying but no one else here is intent to support his efforts.
The kills are boring, the “humor” is quite lame really with barely any punchline to miss the mark, and the bride and the groom are dull and unmemorable to be lead characters. Seriously, they should have allowed the best man to be the lead in a completely different movie with a better script, because he’s the only memorable character here and Mr Gigandet deserves something for his effort.
Anyway, this is another dud in Cam Gigandet’s CV, but who am I kidding? He’d likely continue to be in more duds, and I will hate myself still for watching just to look at him.
So, don’t watch this. Unlike you’re me, I guess.
