Main cast: Heather Donahue (Heather), Joshua Leonard (Joshua), and Michael Williams (Michael)
Directors: Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez

It seems I’m going to get panned for saying that I won’t be giving The Blair Witch Project my unreserved two thumbs up. After all, current opinion is that if I don’t like this spooky, scary movie, I’m either

• A philistine insensate with gore and computer-generated effects; I probably enjoyed brainless nonsense like The Mummy. I did, by the way,
• A complete twit who is probably middle- or lower class trash who enjoys Jerry Springer,
• A moron.

Well, I’d say it loud and proud: this one irritates me silly.

Here are the reasons. I’d be concise.

• Heather Donahue just can’t shut up. The longest pause she has in between faked, forced sunny chatter is exactly one minute forty three seconds. I can’t stand her.
• I have no idea what the characters are like, or even who they are, for that matter, except that Heather has a mouth the size of Heathrow Airport’s landing pad and one of the guys has a girlfriend whose dad likes him.
• The camcorder is always on even during spooky scenes. Nice. Now I know they are purposely staging all this nonsense to scare the viewers of the video they’re making and maybe get an A+. They’re probably now sipping pina colada in Mexico, laughing their heads off at people’s gullibility.
• While I admit the movie is very scary, and there are times I would have been terrified out of my wits – if Heather has just shut up – it doesn’t excuse the fact that to me, this movie has minimum characterization, a one-tracked plot that ultimately, like a bowling ball, sets the three person to die and nothing else, and little else.

At the end of the day, I remember being scared and little else. Oh, and an urge to buy rolls of those super-sticky scotch tapes should Heather shows up again.