Main cast: Amandla Stenberg (Osha Aniseya, Mae Aniseya), Lee Jung-jae (Master Sol), Charlie Barnett (Yord Fandar), Dafne Keen (Jecki Lon), Manny Jacinto (Qimir), Rebecca Henderson (Vernestra Rwoh), and Harry Trevaldwyn (Mog Adana)
Director: Hanelle M Culpepper

Finally, the moment everyone behind the production of The Acolyte has been waiting for: getting Manny Jacinto to do some not-really-naked-but-ooh-nekkid scenes because while female objectification is sexist and evil, male objectification is female empowerment or something. 

Before anyone get too excited, I should point out that those scenes aren’t even hot no matter how hard the shills online try to make them out to be.

Manny Jacinto is easy on the eyes, but because Amandla Stenberg displays the acting aptitude of a pile of rubble and there is no such thing as sexual tension in the Star Wars universe, the whole thing is like watching a Ken doll gaining sentience and wading into a tub of water.

Kudos to Mr Jacinto for doing what is necessary, and to be fair, in any other better cobbled-together show, his evil bad boy character would be a fun one to follow.

Then again, that’s the premise of this very show: it could have been awesome had it been created, scripted, and put together by actually competent people. 

As for the rest of the episode, I have a theory. The episodes all have this oh-so-clever thematic titles that are made of contradictory words paired together, but the last three episodes broke this theme.

I can only speculate that they probably stretched what were originally one or two episodes into three because Kathleen Kennedy, delirious with orgasmic bliss at the thought of having her name attached to a Star Wars show helmed entirely by women, LGBT+ folks, people of color, midgets, or all of these that she insisted on having more episodes in the show. 

This would explain how Teach/Corrupt, like those previous episodes, appears to be just stalling for the time as the show meanders towards the finale. Scenes take place at glacial pace, which means, unfortunately, that I am subjected to way too much of Amandla Stenberg’s singular facial expression for every scene her characters are in regardless of context, circumstance, or emotional gravity of those scenes. 

Anyway, the show is taking its time to unveil its predictable “Man… bad! Woman… the Force!” twists and revelations like no one can see coming them from this bunch of clowns, but hey, the end is nigh, so here’s a drink to one more episode down for the count.