Atomic Blonde (2017)
Charlize Theron takes no prisoners and gets some girl-on-girl action, but something is missing nonetheless.
Tag:John Goodman
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)
Go watch The Fifth Element instead. Multipass and Diva Palabarbecuepaloma are better than anything in here.
Transformers: The Last Knight (2017)
Please don’t. Let this thing die. It really needs to die, so LET IT DIE.
Once Upon a Time in Venice (2017)
This movie wants to be funny, but it isn’t. It wants to be sexy, but it also isn’t that as well.
Kong: Skull Island (2017)
Take some Predators-style drama, add a giant gorilla, and stir in liberal doses of violence and voila!
Patriots Day (2016)
Watch how Hollywood hams and cheeses up an actual bombing event into some lighter-waving feel-good shlock.
Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)
Worst movie ever of 2014. Really.
Monsters, Inc (2001)
All these cartoons are starting to look like factory line output.
One Night at McCool’s (2001)
Liv Tyler as a femme fatale? Well… okay.
The Emperor’s New Groove (2000)
This non-stop barrel of fun is one of the best Disney cartoons ever. Truth!
