Lisa G Riley & Roslyn Hardy Holcomb, $5.99
Fantasy, 2013

Meet Perish Blackburn. Sure, the US isn’t just screwed, economically and everything-ally, the whole world is too, and she’s just here to survive on wisecracks, frowns, and sass. She’s a bounty hunter who takes on all comers, and she’s friends with Pride, a werewolf. Oh, and like every heroine in this kind of story, she is special because she has an awesome talent that has her, in this story, being sought after by the Confederacy of Talents. Also, ghosts. Oh, and some quirky side characters. Yes, we’re having that party, folks!

Rumors of Wars, the first entry in a planned dystopian-urban fantasy series, is a frustrating read because it both subverts and conforms to all the clichés present in this genre.

Let’s look at the good things first.

This story also serves to act as a welcome tour for the reader, as Perish introduces the readers to the ins and outs of this world as she slowly learns that all is not well within the Confederacy. She also goes about doing her job and taking numbers, so she also brings the readers along to find out more about this setting. I like this approach, because it uses a nice balanced approach of showing and telling. I’ve come across stories in this genre that read like Wikipedia entries on steroids, but here, things flow nicely.

I also enjoy the welcome lack of tedious love triangles, mate-mate-mate craps, or other forced “romantic” elements that are typically shoe-horned into this kind of stories. Perish is allowed to take no prisoners and be as action-girl as she can be, without having to be somehow weaker than some alpha male in order to prop up that bloke. It’s such a relief to be able to follow a heroine, knowing that she is not going to have her actions or emotions compromised so that she becomes a more acceptable romance heroine.

Also, I like how the heroine has good female friends here, and these ladies actually feel like genuine friends instead of props to assure the heroine what an awesome person she is. Perish may not be the life of the party, but she sure can throw a mean one for her friends, and thank goodness for that. She’s a tall glass of water after all the surly “Look at me! I’m an edgy loner who will cut anyone who comes near me… oh no, I’m in trouble again! Help me, Count Long Dong Vampire!” types that litter the genre.

Okay, I have to also say this: all the good things I mention apply to this and only this entry. I have no idea what will happen to the heroine in later entries. For all I know, she will meet Darkwyng Smolderhair, the seven-foot tall vampire-werewolf-dragon overlord of Carpathia, and spend the next seven books moaning over soul bonds, love mates, and her conflicted love triangle with Dark and Lighthayre Thrustworthy, the psychic half-angel, half-devil chief wizard of Chicago. Alright?

Now, the not-so-good.

For all the world tour I’m given here, the setting still feels a little vague. I feel that, were this story a little longer, the authors could have added more flavors. For example, what does the Confederacy of Talents actually do? They play a pretty significant presence here, and yet, by the last page, they are just kind of there in the story. There are some good things in this story, but the setting itself is still on a generic sort of here, sort of there side. Maybe this will be further expanded on in a later story, who knows.

The bigger deal breaker is Perish. Yes, in many ways, she is a subversion of many “leading lady in an urban fantasy series” clichés, but she embraces the worst one: the terminally on heroine. Her permanent mood: sarcastic. No, really – there is never any situation that she can’t crack a one-liner for. While this is fine in sparse doses, when the heroine does this constantly, it robs the story of any sense of suspense or urgency. How can the heroine be in any kind of danger, when she can sass about it 24/7? Perish also goes out of her way to pick fights and antagonize people, because she’s of the “Why annoy one person, when you can piss off the entire army?” charm school for romance heroines. Maybe it’s just me being an old crank, but by the midway point of this story, I feel like grabbing Perish by her ear, twisting it, and dragging her to the corner while telling her that she is going to have a time out, whether she likes it or not.

So, would I recommend Rumors of Wars to you folks? Well, I suppose it depends on your threshold for the kind of heroine that Perish embodies. She’s a little too on and over the top for me sometimes, in trying to be some kick-ass, edgy sort. After a while, I can’t help feeling that she’s just overcompensating. On the other hand, folks who can accept Perish for what she is may find that this story can be a charming, sometimes fresh take on overdone, tired tropes and clichés. So yes, do take a look, but watch your steps.