Main cast: Donald Pleasence (The Priest), Lisa Blount (Catherine Danforth), Victor Wong (Professor Howard Birack), Dennis Dun (Walter Fong), Susan Blanchard (Kelly), Anne Howard (Susan Cabot), Ann Yen (Lisa), Jessie Lawrence Ferguson (Calder), Dirk Blocker (Mullins), Peter Jason (Dr Paul Leahy), Ken Wright (Lomax), Robert Grasmere (Frank Wyndham), Thom Bray (Etchinson), Alice Cooper (Street Schizo), Joanna Merlin (Bag Lady), and Jameson Parker (Brian Marsh)
Director: John Carpenter

After the masterpiece that was The Thing, you’d think John Carpenter would be riding high, right? Wrong! Hollywood, in its infinite wisdom, decided that the movie was a flop, leaving our boy feeling about as welcome as a zombie at a vegan potluck.

Disillusioned with the movie biz and probably questioning his life choices, Mr Carpenter decided to go indie. He teamed up with Alive Films to make a series of low-budget flicks, and Prince of Darkness was the tasty middle child in this rebellious phase.

This movie forms part of Mr Carpenter’s unofficial apocalypse trilogy, sandwiched between The Thing and In the Mouth of Madness. If The Thing was about alien invasion and In the Mouth of Madness tackled reality-bending cosmic horror, Prince of Darkness is the weird cousin that nobody talks about at family gatherings.

Let’s talk plot. A bunch of graduate students and their professor are summoned by a priest, played by the always-delightful and always-be-missed Donald Pleasence, to investigate a mysterious cylinder full of swirling green stuff in an abandoned church. Turns out, this isn’t just any old juice—it’s Satan’s essence! Or Anti-God. Or… something. Look, it’s complicated, okay?

To give credit where it’s due, the premise is bonkers in the best possible way. Evil trapped in a cylinder? That’s the kind of out-there concept that makes you go, “Huh, never seen that before.” It’s like someone took a lava lamp, injected it with pure malevolence, and said, “Yep, that’s Satan alright.”

And let’s not forget Donald Pleasence. This man could read the phone book and make it sound ominous. As the priest, he brings gravitas to lines that in lesser hands might sound ridiculous. When he talks about “a secret so terrible it must be kept from the entire world”, you believe him, dammit!

But… you knew there was a ‘but’ coming, didn’t you?

The pacing in this movie is about as consistent as a drunk trying to walk a straight line. It starts strong, then meanders, then picks up, then… is everyone just standing around again? You might find yourself checking your watch more often than you’d like, wondering when something’s going to happen.

And speaking of standing around, this movie has more characters than it knows what to do with. Half of them seem to exist solely to increase the body count. They mill about, occasionally spouting pseudo-scientific gibberish or getting possessed. It’s like watching the world’s most boring cocktail party with occasional outbursts of violence.

Now, let’s talk about our leading man, Jameson Parker as Brian Marsh. Oh boy. Mr Parker’s performance is about as exciting as unflavored oatmeal. He’s… there. That’s about the best I can say. His character is supposed to be this brilliant physics student, but he comes across as a socially awkward creep with a penchant for staring at women.

And don’t even get me started on the romance subplot. Marsh spends most of the movie making moon eyes at Catherine Danforth, played by the late Lisa Blount, and somehow, through the magic of lazy writing, ends up with her. It’s like watching a nature documentary where the scrawny, awkward gazelle somehow gets the lioness. At least we get a gratuitous shirtless scene at the end, I guess.

All in all, Prince of Darkness feels like a step down after the heights of The Thing. It’s got some interesting ideas, some genuinely creepy moments, and Donald Pleasence being awesome. But it’s bogged down by uneven pacing, too many disposable characters, and a lead character who’s about as charismatic as a wet paper bag.

Is it worth watching? Sure, if you’re a John Carpenter completionist or you really, really like evil green juice. But if you’re expecting another masterpiece like The Thing, well… you might want to lower those expectations. Maybe watch it with some friends and a few beers. That green stuff starts to look a lot more menacing after a couple of cold ones, trust me.