Main cast: Ewan McGregor (Obi-Wan Kenobi), Vivien Lyra Blair (Leia Organa), Moses Ingram (Inquisitor Reva), Sung Kang (The Fifth Brother), Rya Kihlstedt (The Fourth Sister), Zach Braff (Freck), Indira Varma (Tala Durith), James Earl Jones (The Voice of Darth Vader), and Hayden Christensen (Darth Vader)
Director: Deborah Chow
Part III takes the steaming poo factor of Part II and keeps the bilge spew going for another 45 minutes or so.
Sure, I can say that this show has completely violated the rear end of canon by having Obi-Wan and Darth Vader meeting way before the established canon, or having Leia and Obi-Wan bonding when Leia clearly wasn’t BFF with Obi-Wan when they met in the first movie. That doesn’t matter, though, as this isn’t canon. This is the story of Obi-Wut Kenobby, Lala, Darth Udder, and friends.
Nothing really of significance happens here. Obi-Wut and Lala are still trying to get away, Reva is still chomping around and gnashing her teeth like a Karen that has been trying but failing to seek a manager for years and she is about to blow any time now, and Darth Udder shows up hoping that his appearance will finally get people to watch this thing and leave good reviews of this episode on Metacritic.
Still, if this episode being merely filler had been its only flaw, then all isn’t so bad in Star Wars.
Sadly, the tradition of Disney hiring cheap people with no experience under the pretense of diversity and inclusion continues to plague its products, and this show so far is showing all the wear and tear of being manhandled by these cheap hires.
There are—let me count: one, two, three…—four writers for this episode, but it sure feels like they drew the scene numbers they are supposed to write from a jar, and then each of them moved to an isolated room to write whatever they wanted without communicating with the other three writers.
This will explain when Reva chases Lala into this straight tunnel, only to magically appear at the other end of the tunnel later. Is teleportation a woo-woo ability in this setting now?
How about Obi-Wut taking down six or seven Stormtroopers in one go, only to then surrender when confronted by three of them later?
Also, the writers seem to forget what a Jedi Master can do, or maybe they don’t care, because Obi-Wut seems to only know how to pew-pew using a blaster here.
Oh, speaking of powers, Darth Udder can do anything and everything from circus acrobatics to telekinesis and more, but oh no, a puny wall of fire keeps him from getting to a hapless Obi-Wut, so too bad, so sad.
Seriously, this is the best four brains can come up with? What, do they all share a single brain cell among them?
Oh, I can go on and on, like a bizarre barrier that shows up in the middle of a vast desert, and somehow the good guys can’t drive around it.
This episode unravels like the screenwriters had to finish the script while camping over the toilet due to explosive diarrhea, and the end product resembles those beautiful things being expelled from their rear ends.
It is put together in a horribly amateurish manner, and it looks cheaply made too, which is appropriate considering that its artistic merit is worth at most five dollars.
