Studio Kosen
Erotic Visual Novel, 2020

Mister Versatile is a visual novel, which means it’s a smutty one, as let’s face it, that’s the only kind of visual novels worth shelling out big bucks for. I shelled out $39.99 mind you for the whole package, so imagine my perplexity when this package includes the official guide for an upcoming DLC, but not the official guide to this core game. That one is available for an additional price.

Not that it really matters, because the only reason one wants to 100% a game like this is to unlock all the pornographic images in the gallery, and that kind of thing is take it or leave it for me. I’m here for the story—yes, really—and alright, the scenery.

I get to control the destiny of Mister Versatile here. Like most games of this sort, customization extends to his name (default name is Victor) and whether I like him with beard as well as chest hair. Since chest hair never translates well in most bara artworks, I just stick with the beard. Victor doesn’t feel slutty enough for a superhero that I’m pretty sure is going to the town bicycle, so let’s see, his name will be… Bruno.

So, in this game, Bruno is a human that does a gay Batman gig, with an extra dose of slutty mojo. When this game opens, Bruno is already in a Justice Lay thing with the Superman archetype Captain Crush. Bruno is a lone wolf type, but a while back, Captain Crush starts crashing into the scene, and despite his initial reluctance, Bruno soon succumbs to the whole post-violence adrenaline rush thing with the hot DILF and, after the first time when they shagged with Captain Crush flying up in the sky and holding Bruno in his arms, they are basically going at it every time their paths cross.

But will he be Bruno’s true love?

Well, there’s Driller (ahem), Bruno’s archnemesis. In what I’d like to call my canon playthrough, oh yes, he’s the one. I mean, look at him. Hot. Driller also has the most fully-fleshed history with Bruno, and oh yes, Bruno also gets to have a threesome in this story arc, so yes, this one is a keeper. Plus, I like that they are a versatile couple that switches out who gets to be on top each time.

Captain Crush and Bruno are also a versatile coupling, with the top and bottom switching places too, which is pleasant as it’d be easy to have Captain Crush be the top only guy in more stereotypical stories of this sort. Unlike Driller, though, Captain Crush is a less well-developed character, as he’s just this friend with benefits that eventually realizes how much he’s grown attached to Bruno.

There is also this young lad, Jake, currently in a reluctant symbiotic relationship with a Venom-wannabe, Lascivion. This story route is a two-in-one, in the sense that I can choose to make Bruno be rid of Lascivion to have Jake, or go for Lascivion himself. Jake’s story is sadly boring, as he’s the useless hapless uke sort and his story is basically how grateful he is for Bruno and eek.

Lascivion on the other hand is hilarious and horny, and his story route is basically the huge tentacles and huge tackle affair that some people will find painful and other people too hot for words. This one is basically all the pornographic images of Eddie Brock and his symbiote come to life. While I like Driller’s story best, I have to say that the images of Lascivion and Bruno doing nasty things are the most, er, intriguing ones in the gallery. He also has a hilarious link to Captain Crush that leads to some interesting shenanigans on both his and Captain Crush’s story routes.

Then there is Chihuahua, a newbie superhero, and I really wish I haven’t done his story route because it is pure cringe. Chihuahua looks ridiculous, acts like the uke from cringe hell constantly grateful for even a little scrap of approval from Bruno, and the whole thing is just creepy in a “Wait… are we certain that this fellow is of legal age?” way.

While none of the story routes boast particularly original or innovative elements, I have to say that this one strikes the perfect balance between telling a story and titillating the horndogs. I actually get to complete all story routes in the space of two or three hours, and have unlocked most of the images in the gallery in the process. The lines for the most part are fine instead of cringe, and much of the humor is fine too. I admit I roll up my eyes at the RuPaul expy that is Bruno’s Alfred, but fortunately he’s not too intrusive or in my face.

This game is definitely not for kids as the whole thing is smutty to the core. The structure is pretty obvious: there is one point in the game that is clearly the branching points for Bruno to pick the guy he wants to commit to, but prior to that point, Bruno can happily sleep with Driller, Captain Crush, Chihuahua, and Jake and Lascivion to the point that I am pretty sure Bruno’s pee-pee and ass, at least, have some degree of superpower—especially the latter, considering how it can fit the whole girth and length of Lascivion’s titanic phallic delight.

Still, Lascivion aside, the pee-pees are not too exaggerated to cartoon proportions (which always make me cringe and clench my down-there parts tight), and the celebratory pop is also of a reasonable, if still exaggerated, sort without making everyone look like someone had pulled a Carrie and dunked them head to toe with methyl cellulose. While someone may be disappointed by this, I’m pleased because anything more exaggerated tends to make me laugh or cringe, and that kind of ruins the mood intended by the creator in the first place.

Anyway, this one is fun. It’s just right, just entertaining enough without each story route becoming too long or too much of a grind. Plus, Driller is hot and Lascivion is fun, and my greatest regret for this one is for Bruno to be unable to have both of them at the same time. The costumes may be ridiculous, but the fun is real.