Main cast: Lance Henriksen (The Host), Katheryn Winnick (Chelsea), Christopher Jacot (Jake), Khary Payton (Derrick), Henry Cavill (Mike), Anna Tolputt (Allison), Victor McGuire (Police Officer), and Doug Bradley (Pinhead)
Director: Rick Bota
I’ve just subjected myself to Hellraiser: Hellworld, and against all odds, it’s… not terrible? I know, I’m as shocked as you are. After the last few entries in this franchise, which were about as scary as a puppy wearing a Halloween costume, “not terrible” feels like winning the horror lottery.
Rick Bota is back in the director’s chair, possibly under some form of ancient Cenobite curse that forces him to keep making these movies. Like its predecessors, Hellraiser: Hellworld was filmed in Romania, because nothing says “early 2000s horror” quite like cutting costs in Eastern Europe. But here’s the kicker: it actually looks… decent? I mean, compared to the recent entries, which seemed to be shot on a flip phone, this one’s practically Lawrence of Arabia. It’s amazing what a possibly slightly higher budget and a few extra light bulbs can do for atmosphere.
The plot, and I use that term loosely, follows a group of twenty-somethings addicted to an online game called Hellworld. Now, before you start imagining some cutting-edge virtual reality experience, let me stop you right there. This is early 2000s “hacker movie” territory, where apparently mashing your keyboard really fast while squinting at a screen that looks like a rejected Windows 95 screensaver is the height of gaming technology. It’s so dated, you half expect a pop-up ad for AOL to appear.
Our intrepid gamers get invited to a creepy mansion party hosted by Lance Henriksen, who’s clearly wondering how he went from Aliens to this. What follows is essentially a Hellraiser-themed escape room, except the only thing you’re trying to escape is the realization that you’re watching a Hellraiser movie.
Speaking of which, Pinhead shows up occasionally, looking about as confused as a vegan at a BBQ contest. It’s painfully obvious this script was never meant to be a Hellraiser movie. I’m pretty sure the writers were halfway through a generic slasher when someone burst into the room yelling: “Quick! Slap some pins on a bald guy and call it a day!”
Fun fact: This movie marks Henry Cavill’s Hollywood debut. Yes, Superman himself graces us with his presence, probably hoping his super strength would let him fly away from this production. Watching baby-faced Mr Cavill navigate this horror show is like seeing a golden retriever puppy accidentally wandering onto the set of a low-budget slasher flick.
There are a few standout scenes, like when our tech-savvy victims start hallucinating about being buried alive. It’s a classic “I shouldn’t have downloaded that sketchy torrent” moment. And who could forget Pinhead’s cameos? He pops in, delivers a few menacing lines with all the enthusiasm of a DMV employee on a Monday morning, then promptly exits stage left.
To be fair, Hellraiser: Hellworld isn’t exactly reinventing the horror wheel. It’s got your standard jump scares, cheaply made gory death scenes, and a twist ending so predictable you could set your watch to it. But you know what? It’s not as painful as getting your teeth pulled without anesthesia, which is more than I can say for the last two sequels.
So, if you’re in the mood for a decent slasher flick with a sprinkling of Cenobite action and the early career of a future Superman, Hellraiser: Hellworld might just be your cup of tepid, slightly moldy tea. Set your expectations low enough, and you might even enjoy it.
