Karya Seni, RM27.00, ISBN 978-967-4690526
Contemporary Romance, 2017
Anjell’s Dr. Alpha Male is a Malaysian romance novel that went viral on social media quite some time ago, and never having learned from my past encounters with social media blockbusters (ahem), I decide why not give it a try when I come across it in a bargain bin recently.
It is shortly after that I learn that it originated as a Wattpad thing, and that’s when my heart sinks straight down with such a rapid speed that I feel an urgent need to sit on the porcelain throne right away.
Before I begin, I should point out that I listed the cover price as RM27, but that’s for folks in West Malaysia, such as myself. Folks in Sabah and Sarawak will have to pay RM30 instead, because they are privileged like that.
Now, the story follows Tristin Hazel. At first, the author acknowledges how absurd this name is for a supposed everyday Malay young lady, only to then ruin my momentary goodwill by rationalizing that this name is appropriate for the heroine because Tristin has rare hazel eyes that would make any Mamak stall owner do a double-take, thus making her a super special lady.
She is a university student, and like the tradition of romance heroines in stories that are written in a condescending manner that hints at some thinly veiled contempt harbored by the author for the genre, stumbles onto our hero Hilman Ukasyah—yes, my eyes perform a huge roll at that name—because it’s always so cute when the heroine shows off how klutzy she is.
This leads to Hilman delivering stinging remarks to Tristin like how her eyes are not at her knees so she should look at where she is going. Yes, this is the kind of thing that passes as humor in this story. There’s nothing more charming than a guy that becomes instinctively rude and confrontational over a silly mistake by a clearly addled young lady, but this is also the same guy that calls himself “Dr Alpha Male” in a most unironic manner. That guy is more cringe than cute each time he opens his mouth.
The story then launches into a series of implausible coincidences, such as Hilman ending up as her lecturer because why not. Yes, this is a romance between a university lecturer and a student, and nobody bats an eye at how she continues to attend his classes and sits for his exams even after he’s married her in the end because… because Wattpad, I guess. And TikTok.
As for external conflicts, oh, there are so many thanks to a creepy stalker of Tristin that becomes increasingly deranged as I turn the page. Naturally, the heroine has no survival instinct because there is no fun otherwise, and the main conflict is whether she had been sexually assaulted by that stalker. She won’t tell, of course, because there is nothing that screams romance like the heroine having to prove that she is still pure and clean and hence worthy of love but at the same time can’t just end the drama by getting straight to the point.
God, this thing is such a painful read.
Still, I have to admit that the author has an engaging narrative style that has me reading even when I am cringing so hard each time that I turn the page. It’s like me willingly sitting in a train as it hurtles off the cliff because I’m perversely entertained for some morbid reason.
It also helps that Hilman stops talking so much when he has to instead start getting busy to rescue Tristin from the constant non-stop drama that she finds herself in. Our hero may be a medical lecturer, but he is bewilderingly capable of martial arts and outwitting villains like he’s a K-drama secret agent oppa on an undercover stint in the university. Had he been so, it could at least elevate the story a bit, but then again, logic is never the strongest suit of this story, so chalk this one up as one more bumble done by the author.
Unlike the hero that has his moments, the heroine is atrocious. She’s rude and selfish, and her friends exist solely to validate her worthless existence. Such creatures could be fun to read had they been witty and clever, but Tristin is instead a wet rag with barely any other characterization aside from being an imbecile.
Yes, on top of being a horrible person, she’s also a massive idiot. Oh, she’s in danger? Who cares! It’s more important that she keeps making Hilman jealous so that she can have his full attention.
Oh, and being a quintessential local novel, this one depicts victims of sexual assault in a way that would make progressives cringe. Yes, there is victim blaming, and yes, the victim is also the subject of cringe humor.
Anyway, this wretched thing is like a badly brewed teh tarik. The immature heroine, unrealistic hero, and contrived plot elements combine to create a romance novel that, while entertaining in parts, ultimately fails to deliver a satisfying romance or even keep my blood pressure in check.
