Main cast: Lance Henriksen (Manny), Tonya Kay (Gigi), Ben Hopkins (Clyde), Leticia LaBelle (Antonia), Logan Coffey (Eugene), Shae Smolik (Abigail), Everette Wallin (Thomas), Frank Lammers (The Host), and Carter Scott (Evelyn)
Director: Dale Fabrigar
Lately, it seems like Hollywood’s old guard is coming out of retirement faster than you can say “back taxes”. Jim Carrey’s back because he “needed the money”. Al Pacino and Harrison Ford are also on the comeback train, presumably because Hollywood rents are higher than their egos.
This would likely explain Lance Henriksen, whose appearance in D-Railed feels less like a career highlight and more like a paycheck so he can afford a new lawnmower.
And what a paycheck grab it is! Mr Henriksen’s name is plastered all over the posters, promising gravitas and grit. The reality is that he’s on-screen for what feels like the time it takes to microwave popcorn.
As for his performance, let’s just say he’s phoning it in, and the line has so much static, you can barely hear him.
The movie itself is about a group of passengers on a Roaring 20s-themed dinner party that find themselves in a deadly situation when the train derails (see what they did there?) and plunges into water. Then, just when you think it’s a survival thriller, a supernatural creature shows up.
Sounds promising, right? On paper, sure. On screen? Imagine if a Cenobite went on a budget diet and ended up looking like a Spirit Halloween clearance costume.
Low-budget blues hit hard here. This is one of those rare films where you wish for the annoyingly dark lighting of most indie horror flicks. At least then, you wouldn’t have to see the monster in all its rubbery glory. Every time it appears, the movie shifts from survival horror to unintentional comedy.
To its credit, the rest of the cast does a decent job. The acting isn’t bad, although Lance Henriksen’s performance is the worst of the bunch, which is saying something. The rest of the cast plays their roles well enough, even if their characters are flatter than a pancake under a train wheel. You can spot the final girl from a mile away because everyone else exists solely to react to her.
The pacing is serviceable, but the story? Let’s just say it’s about as original as a Netflix Christmas movie. You’ve seen it all before—the stereotypes, the predictable deaths, and the “big twist” at the end.
Oh, and speaking of that twist—imagine a The Twilight Zone episode but with less finesse and more heavy-handed clues. The movie practically waves neon signs that scream, “Pay attention! Big reveal coming!” And when the twist finally arrives, the film spends an eternity explaining it, like a student over-explaining their mediocre essay.
In the end, D-Railed doesn’t derail horror fans’ expectations so much as it gently nudges them off the tracks into a shallow puddle. It’s not scary enough to haunt you, not campy enough to entertain you, and not clever enough to surprise you. It’s earnest, sure, but that earnestness comes across as condescending.
If nothing else, it adds another forgettable notch to Lance Henriksen’s IMDb page—a cinematic train wreck that’s best left stranded at the station.
