Main cast: John Knox (Doug Swift/Art Jones), Johanna Tacadena (Malia), and Rip Torn (Narrator)
Director: Stuart Taylor
Stuart Taylor again? He must really love this show. That, or he probably created this show and had to be the sole person behind the wheel, so to speak, once there is no money to pay anyone else.
Cabin Fever is the occasional Tales from the Crypt-ish episode in Ghost Stories; in fact, this one is basically The Trap minus the comedy and the self-referential irony. Both episodes are not good, mind you, with the two of them having story line issues.
Self-help and motivational guru Doug Swift faked his death while mountain-climbing, and now he is hiding out in a “remote Pacific Island” as Art Jones, waiting for the day when his wife Karen will tell him that the insurance for his death has been processed, and they can both live happily ever after on the money. Mind you, he is also shacking up with the lady he hired to clean his place, Malia, so in the end, he’s only looking out for himself.
When the episode opens, Karen calls him from a payphone to let him know that she will finally get the insurance money. In three days, they will meet in Jakarta for a new life, woo-hoo!
In the meantime, Doug is slowly melting under the sun. He launches into long interior monologues with himself (which he visualizes as a reflection in the mirror that resembles his more glamorous self in the past), going over his past actions and pondering over what could have, all the while throwing his own self-help clichés at himself. Meanwhile, Malia tells him that there are Americans in the neighborhood asking questions about other Americans staying there. As his paranoia mounts. Doug begins experiencing bizarre episodes in which the place is hit by what seems like an outlandish ice storm. Well, the heat isn’t so bad now, is it?
The best thing about this episode is John Knox really selling his character. Doug is a conman that has the women in his life convinced that his BS is the path of enlightenment, both of them taking his quotes as some kind of sacred gospel. Hilariously, Doug buys his own BS too, using his own quotes to convince himself that all he needs to get over his latest jam is to think positive. Mr Knox plays this character just the way he should: Doug is charismatic and charming yet simultaneously sleazy and fake. I can see why people will adopt him as a cult leader, even as I can have fun rooting against him.
The problem with this episode is… well, let’s start with the most obvious one. Doug killed his guide while mountain-climbing, and now that dead guide is back to get his revenge. However, why does this fellow take ten months before even trying to get to our villain? Did he need to apply for a revenge permit in Hell, and was the red tape that painful? It doesn’t make sense why Doug is tormented by this ghost only now.
The episode hints at the intriguing possibility that Doug may have actually died while staging his death, and this whole scenario is some kind of purgatory for him. Sadly, in the end, he turns out to be really alive, and is simply chased by the ghost in a perplexingly long overdue quest for vengeance.
Another problem is that this episode relies too heavily on scenes of Doug arguing with himself to stretch out the run time. While initially it is amusing to see John Knox does this, things become repetitive fast and the entire thing ends up being way too long for its own good.
The final problem is the hideous green screen effect towards the end. I know this show operates on half a shoestring budget, but come on, that is horrific to look at.
At any rate, Cabin Fever ends up being an underwhelming episode despite John Knox’s best efforts. Even though The Trap is far from a good episode, go watch that one instead.
