Parlophone
Pop. 2010

She has overcome breast cancer and now, she makes a triumphant comeback in Aphrodite… okay, not really. Ms Minogue’s 11th studio album should have been a grand celebration of sorts, but instead it is a collection of twelve sedate dance tunes that sound way too similar for their own good. Ms Minogue’s albums are made or broken on the strengths of the producers, and Stuart Price, who is mostly responsible for this flavor-free tofu of an album, is clearly not the right person to fiddle with the buttons for Ms Minogue.

All the Lovers, the lead single from this album, sounds way too much like some elevator muzak usually used for Swatch commercials. The music video that accompanies this single is a pretty impressive visual feast, but without the gorgeous visual accompaniment of the music video, the track is just bland and forgettable. The same problem permeates the other tracks here. They are all too safe and nondescript without any catchy hook or distinct melodies that stick to the head. Cupid Boy is mildly interesting and Illusion has a beautiful bridge that is wasted on the rest of this forgettable track, but that’s about it, really.

I don’t know whether the fault lies in the mismatch of producer and artist or the fact that everyone involved displays awful taste when it comes to picking tracks for a comeback album, but Aphrodite is devoid of any hint of fun and energy. Folks looking for music to play on Disco Night for octogenarians may want to take a look at this one, since nobody will break a hip to the songs on this one, but everyone else is better off checking out Ms Minogue’s previous albums.