Main cast: Guy Pearce (Father Peter Costello), Vadhir Derbez (Father Daniel Garcia), Brady Jenness (Charlie Giroux), Chris Galust (Young Peter Costello), Robin Bartlett (Helen), Heath Freeman (Mr Miller), Keith David (Father Louis), and Stephen Lang (The Archbishop)
Director: Justin P Lange

The Seventh Day opens in 1995. Newbie Father Peter Costello forgets that he is an exorcist in training and just sort of stands there as Father Louis eventually loses his life while trying to exorcise some demon-y things from a kid. He then crouches impassively over the dying priest.

I hope no one is watching this movie for Keith David.

Shockingly, the movie then cuts to “present day”, with Peter not sweeping the floors or doing some other elementary-level task that won’t tax his brainpower too much. No, he’s still a priest, and in fact, he has morphed into a guy that looks like Guy Pearce. I guess losing one’s nerves can make one look super hot for some reason.  

In the last 25 years, Peter has evolved into a I-don’t-follow-rules kind of exorcist that does things his own way, smokes, and uses strong language more than one would expect from a priest. He’s also said to be the best exorcist in the country—oh, that’s reassuring—and travels around the country snuffing demons out of kids.

As it happens, the Archbishop proclaims that dark times are here because the number of demonic possessions is at an all time high. Since desperate times call for desperate measures, he is pairing Peter with a newbie, Father Daniel Garcia, who is just fresh out of a two-week course on ghostbusting. Needless to say, Peter isn’t amused.

Those two have to race against time to prove that a kid, accused of murdering his whole family, is possessed, and poor Daniel will realize first hand that exorcism is just not about holding the crucifix up and shout about the power of Christ…

Anyway, this movie isn’t much of a horror film, in spite of its marketing, as it’s more of a buddy investigation movie that pairs the experienced veteran with the fresh-faced newbie, only with an occasional jump scares here and there. People that are looking for an exorcism flick will likely go away disappointed as a result.

Now, I like the story. Justin P Lange’s “horror films” tend to be more about feels than scares anyway, so this one isn’t a curve ball where the fellow’s oeuvre is concerned. In its core, this one is about the newbie’s trial by fire as he learns the hard way to be as street smart as he is book smart.

I’m biased when it comes to Guy Pearce, but I find Peter is a pretty awesome character. He has the right swagger to be a cool-as-ice priest and enough glimpses of vulnerabilities stemming from his past to make him a more well rounded character, and Mr Pearce plays him just right.

I also like the concept of Daniel’s character, but yikes, the actor playing him seems to have problems emoting throughout the whole movie. This character is supposed to evolve throughout the movie, but Vadhir Derbez has the same facial expression throughout every scene, regardless of the nature of these scenes, and his lines are delivered in the same manner too. As a result, it feels like poor Mr Pearce is carrying the whole mentor-newbie dynamic all on his scrawny shoulders.

Admittedly, this story isn’t particularly new or original in many ways, but the priest angle manages to breathe some fresh new life to the formula. It’s just a shame that one half of the main characters is a dud. This really sets back the movie considerably.

It’s still miles better than the more recent The Pope’s Exorcist, though!